fiind joi seara......e maslina...amu depinde fiecare cand o citeste
coming soon: vreau sa incep sa scriu o telenovela(ma rog nuvela, piesa de teatru sau asa ceva)...sa speram ca de sapt viitoare....
scoala is back with a vengance si iara ma apucai de scris lucrari si carti si din alea...asa ca daca imi vedeti fatza pe o coperta printr-o librarie dati-mi un telefon sa va dau un autograf
in rest toate bine si frumoase....cica am 2 masterate....cred ca deja v=ati saturat sa ma tot laud, da nu pot sa ma abtin....deci am 2 masterate....
si revenind la business...
A black guy walks into a bar with a Parrot on his shoulder, they walk up to the bar and the Parrot orders a Strawberry Daquiri. The bartender is amazed and says "Wow! That's pretty cool, where'd you find him?" And the Parrot replies "In Africa! They're everywhere!" -----
My wife was in the kitchen making soft-boiled eggs for breakfast yesterday morning. I walked in and said "Morning baby? what's for breakfast?" She turns to me and says, "You've got to make love to me this very moment". If ya'll know me, I thinking, damn it's my lucky day, so I stand her over the kitchen table and have some Sunday orning sex. Afterwards I looked at her and said, "What was that all about?" She smirks as she smiles and says "The egg timer's broken!"
An emperor of the Rising Sun advertised for a new chief samurai warrior. Only three applied for the job; Japanese, a Chinese and a Jewish samurai. "Demonstrate your skills," commanded the emperor.
The Japanese samurai stepped forward, opening a tiny box and released a fly. He drew his sword and, Swish! The fly fell to the floor, neatly divided in two.
The Chinese samurai smiled, then opened a tiny box, releasing a fly. He drew his sword. Swish! Swish! The fly fell to the floor neatly quartered.
No. 3 samurai stepped forward, released a fly, and drew his sword. SWOOOOOOOOSH! The speed of his sword created a gust of wind. The fly let out a high-pitched sound, but continued to fly around. "What kind of skill is that?" asked the emperor. "The fly isn't even dead."
"Dead, schmead," replied the Jewish samurai. "Dead is easy. But circumcision - that takes skill!"
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An elderly man in North Queensland owned a large property. He had a dam in the next paddock, fixed up nice - picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some mango and avocado trees. The dam was properly shaped and fixed up for swimming when it was built.
One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the dam, as he hadn't been there for a while, to look it over. He grabbed a five gallon bucket to bring back some fruit. As he neared the dam, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his dam.
He called out and made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end. One of the women shouted to him, "We're not coming out until you leave!"
The old man frowned, "I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the dam naked." Holding the bucket up he said, "I'm just here to feed the crocodile..."
Moral: Old men might walk slow, but they can still think fast. --------
A man walks into the street and manages to get a taxi just going by. He gets in, and the cabbie says, "Perfect timing. You're just like Frank." The passenger asks "Who?"
The cabbie says "Frank Feldman. There's a guy who did everything right. Like my coming along when you needed a cab. It would have happened like that to Frank every single time." Passenger: "Yeah. But there are always a few clouds over everybody."
Cabbie says "Not Frank. He was a terrific athlete. He could have won the Grand-Slam at tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone, danced like a Broadway star, and you should have heard him play the piano." The passenger replies "Sounds like he was something really special"
Cab driver responds "There's more... he had a mind like a computer. Could remember everybody's birthday. He knew all about wine, which foods to order and which fork to eat with. He could fix anything. Not like me. I change a fuse, and the whole street blacks out." Passenger: "Wow, some incredible guy"
The cabbie goes "He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid traffic jams, not like me. I always seem to get stuck in them." "Passenger: "Mmm, there's not many like him around."
Cabbie: "And he knew how to treat a woman and make her feel good. And he's never answer her back even if she was in the wrong; and his clothing was always immaculate, shoes highly polished too." Passenger: "An amazing fellow. How did you meet him?"
Cabbie: "Well, I never actually met Frank." Passenger: "Then how do you know so much about him?" Cabbie: "I married his fucking widow..."
poza 1. un banc sec pt pui
nr 24 - is in pana de idei pentru titlu – poza de connoisseur, in Maslina saptamanala · 27.5KB
