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aloha oameni buni!!!
asta e prima maslina cu mine in calitate de prep. univ..asa ca sunt mai infipt si mai miezu ca am litere in fata numelui....din fericire pentru voi nu aveti de a face cu mine in sali de seminar ci numa citind maslina...dar voi fi mult mai exigent de acum inainte....cu mine insumi....
in rest toate miezu...vreau sa imi cer scuze de pe acum daca saptamana viitoare maslina va intarzia - iau o vacantza si plec la paris asa ca...am scuza...
noah oricum bagam post dublu dupa aia...
incepe si campionatu mondial asa ca nu puteam sa nu incep cu aceasta scrisoare:
Dear Women of the World,
1. From 9 June to 9 July 2006, you should read the sports section of the newspaper so that you are aware of what is going on regarding the World Cup, and that way you will be able to join in the conversations. If you fail to do this, then you will be either looked at in an extremely hostile way, or totally ignored. DO NOT complain about not receiving any attention.
2. During the World Cup, the television is mine, at all times, without any exceptions. If your eye even falls on the remote control, you will lose it (your eye).
3. If you have to pass by in front of the TV during a game, I don't mind, as long as you do it crawling on the floor and without distracting me. If you decide to stand nude in front of the TV, make sure you put clothes on right afterwards, because during the World Cup month I won't have time to take you to the doctor or look after you if you catch a cold.
4. During the games I will be blind, deaf and mute, unless I require a refill of my drink or something to eat. You are out of your mind if you expect me to listen to you, open the door, answer the telephone, or pick up the baby that just fell from the second floor....it won't happen.
5. It would be a good idea for you to keep at least 12 six-packs in the fridge at all times, as well as plenty of things to nibble on, and please do not make any funny faces to my friends when they come over to watch the games. In return, you will be allowed to use the TV between 12am and 6am, unless they replay a good game that I missed during the day.
6. If you see me upset because one of my teams is losing, DO NOT say "Get over it, it's only a game", or "Don't worry, they'll win next time". If you say these things, you will only make me angrier and I shall love you less. Remember, you will never ever know more about football than me, and your so-called "words of encouragement" will only lead to a break up or divorce.
7. You are welcome to sit with me to watch one game, and you can talk to me during half time, but only when the commercials are on, and only if the half time score is pleasing me. In addition, please note I am saying "one" game: hence do not use the World Cup as a cheesy excuse to "spend time together".
8. The replays of the goals are very important. I don't care if I have seen them or I haven't seen them, I want to see them again. Many times.
9. Tell your friends NOT to have any babies, or any other child-related parties or gatherings that require my attendance because: a) I will not go, b) I will not go, and c) I will not go.
10. But, if a friend of mine invites us to his house on a Sunday to watch a game, we will be there in a flash.
11. The daily World Cup highlights show on TV every night is just as important as the games themselves. Do not even think about saying "but you have already seen this...why don't you change the channel to something we can all watch?" The reply will be: "Refer to Rule #2 of this list".
12. And finally, please save your expressions such as "Thank God the World Cup is only every 4 years". Remember that after this comes the Champions League, Italian League, Spanish League, Premier League, etc etc.
Thank you for your cooperation. Regards, Men of the World.
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Little April was not the best student in Sunday school. Usually she slept through class. One day the teacher tried to catch little April out to see if she was paying attention. She called on her while she was napping.
"Tell me, April, who created the universe?" When April didn't stir Little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pen and jabbed her in the rear. "GOD ALMIGHTY!" shouted April and the teacher said, "Very good," and April fell back asleep.
A while later the teacher asked April, "Who is our lord and saviour," But April didn't even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. "JESUS CHRIST!" shouted April and the teacher said, "Very Good," And April fell back asleep.
Then the teacher asked April a third question. "What did Eve say to Adam after she had had their twenty third child?" And again Johnny jabbed her with the pen. This time April jumped up and shouted, "IF YOU STICK THAT FUCKING THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME, I'LL BREAK IT IN HALF AND STICK IT UP YOU'RE ARSE!"
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A woman was sitting at a bar enjoying an after work cocktail with her girlfriends when an exceptionally tall, handsome, extremely sexy middle-aged man entered. He was so striking that the woman could not take her eyes off him. The young-at-heart man noticed her overly attentive stare and walked directly toward her.
Before she could offer her apologies for so rudely staring, he leaned over and whispered to her, "I'll do anything, absolutely anything, that you want me to do, no matter how kinky, for $20, on one condition."
Flabbergasted, the woman asked what the condition was. The man replied, "You have to tell me what you want me to do in just three words."
The woman considered his proposition for a moment, and then slowly removed a $20 bill from her purse, which she pressed into the man's hand along with her address. She looked deeply into his eyes, and slowly and meaningfully said... "Clean... my... house."
filmuletzul 1 - ce se stie baiatu asta la volan
http://grab.orsm.net/php/movies.php?fil ... ontrol.wmv
filmuletzul 2 - funny shots!!!! super
http://grab.orsm.net/php/movies.php?fil ... wndude.wmv
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After a long night of making love, the young guy rolled over, pulled out a cigarette from his jeans and searched for his lighter. Unable to find it, he asked the girl if she had one at hand. "There might be some matches in the top drawer," she replied. He opened the drawer of the bedside table and found a box of matches sitting neatly on top of a framed picture of another man.
Naturally, the guy began to worry. "Is this your husband?" he inquired nervously. "No, silly," she replied, snuggling up to him. "Your boyfriend then?" he asked. "No, not at all," she said, nibbling away at his ear.
"Well, who is he then?" demanded the bewildered guy. Calmly, the girl replied, "That's me before the operation!"
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Bubba and Billy Joe are walking down the street in Atlanta, and they see a sign on a store which reads, "Suits $5.00 each! Shirts $2.00 each! Trousers $2.50 each!" Bubba says to his pal, "Billy Joe, Look here! We could buy a whole gob of these, take'em back to Sand Mountain, sell 'em to our friends, and make a fortune. Just let me do the talkin' 'cause if they hear your accent, they might think we're ignorant, and not wanna sell that stuff to us. Now, I'll talk in a slow Georgia drawl so's they don't know we is from Alabama."
They go in and Bubba says with his best fake Georgia drawl, "I'll take 50 of them suits at $5.00 each, 100 of them there shirts at $2.00 each, 50 pairs of them there trousers at $2.50 each. I'll back up my pickup and..."
The owner of the shop interrupts, "Ya'll from South Alabama, ain't ya?" "Well... yeah," says a surprised Bubba... "How come you knowed that?" "Because this is a dry-cleaners..."
poza 1. biker dog
51.6KB
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"me - we" (Muhammad Ali)
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