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salut oameni buni!!!
v-am lipsit?....chiar? .... noah sper sa nu se mai intample!
vazui parisu....miez oras....ce cladiri, ce mirosuri....ce FEMEI!!!! olala....frantzuzoiacele is miezu ... incredibil...nu as fi crezut..
pe langa eifel luvru notre dame versailles si sacre coer pe care le vede tata lumea am fo la roland garros...miezu...nu am apucat sa vad finala - federer = nadal (VAMOS RAFA!!!) dar m-am plimbat prin complexul de acolo. a fost mirific.
apoi nu pot sa uit festivalu de jazz...din parc floral...va puteti da seama ca in parc nu erau pietre si gunoaie.....ci iarba verde, tat felu de expoziti, tineri si batrani, mame si drogatzi...tata lumea se bucura de soare si unii (adicatalea IO) chiar de muzica
noah de ajuns cu bla blau ca doar nu ati ras de multisor -----------
o scrisoare a unui suparat pe viatza...dar are mare dreptate!!!
If you are ready for the adventure of a lifetime, TRY THIS:
Enter Pakistan, Afghanistan or Iraq illegally. Never mind immigration quotas, visas, international law, or any of that nonsense.
Once there, demand that the local government provide free medical care for you and your entire family. Demand bilingual nurses and doctors. Demand free bilingual local government forms, bulletins, etc. Procreate abundantly.
Deflect any criticism of this allegedly irresponsible reproductive behavior with, "It is a cultural thing - you wouldn't understand, pal."
Keep your Australian, English, or U.S.A. identity strong. Fly your national flag from your rooftop, or proudly display it in your front window or on your car bumper.
Speak only English at home and in public and insist that your children do likewise. Demand classes on English and U.S. culture in the Moslem school system.
Demand a local Country driver license. This will afford other legal rights and will go far to legitimise your unauthorised, illegal, presence in Pakistan, Afghanistan or Iraq.
Drive around with no liability insurance and ignore local traffic laws. Insist that local Country, law enforcement teach English to all its officers.
Good luck! You'll be demanding for the rest of your life or soon be dead. Because it will never happen!! It will not happen in Pakistan, Afghanistan or Iraq or any other country in the world except right here in Australia or Britain or United States, Land of the naive and stupid, idiotic politically correct politicians!
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A police officer pulled over a red Corvette after it had run a stop sign. "May I see your driver's license and registration please?" "What's the problem, officer?" "You just ran the stop sign back there at the last intersection." "Oh, come on pal, there wasn't a car within miles of me". "Nevertheless sir, you are required to come to a complete stop, look both ways, and proceed with caution." "You gotta be kidding me!" "It's no joke, sir."
"Look, I slowed down almost to a complete stop, saw no one within twenty miles, and proceeded with caution." "That's beside the point, sir. You are supposed to come to a complete stop, and you didn't. Now if I may see your license and ..."
"You've sure got a lot of time on your hands. What's the matter, all the doughnut shops closed?" "Sir, I'll overlook that last comment. Let me see your license and registration immediately!"
"I will, if you can tell me the difference between slowing down, and coming to a complete stop." "Sir, I can do better than that." The officer yanked open the car door, dragged the obnoxious motorist out, and proceeded to methodically beat him with his nightstick. "Now asshole, you want me to slow down or come to a complete fucking stop?"
filmuletzul 1...magic trix....sort of http://grab.orsm.net/php/movies.php?fil ... dothis.wmv
filmuletzul 2. cel mai tare gol....ronaldiho eat your heart out http://grab.orsm.net/php/movies.php?fil ... aaaaal.wmv
pt cei care sunt noi pe maslina pt a vedea filmuletele puteti sa la daunlodati(click here to download this video)
------ A small zoo in West Virginia had a very rare species of gorilla. Within a few weeks the gorilla, a female, became very difficult to handle. Upon examination, the veterinarian determined the problem. The gorilla was in season. To make matters worse, there was no male gorilla available.
Thinking about their problem, the zookeeper thought of Bobby Lee Walton, a redneck part-time worker responsible for cleaning the animal cages. Bobby Lee, like most rednecks, had little sense but possessed ample ability to satisfy a female of any species.
The zookeeper thought they might have a solution. Bobby Lee was approached with a proposition. Would he be willing to mate with the gorilla for $500.00? Bobby Lee showed some interest, but said he would have to think the matter over carefully.
The following day, he announced that he would accept their offer, but only under four conditions.
"First", Bobby Lee said, "I ain't gonna kiss her on the lips." The zookeeper quickly agreed to this condition. "Second", he said, "You can never tell no one about this." The keeper again readily agreed to this condition. "Third", Bobby Lee said, "I want all the children raised Southern Baptist." Once again it was agreed. And last of all, Bobby Lee stated, "You gotta give me another week to come up with the $500.00."
----- A lady walks into a BMW dealership. She browses around, then spots the perfect car - a BMW M3 and walks over to inspect it.
As she bends to feel the fine leather upholstery, a loud fart escapes her. Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone has noticed her little accident and hopes a sales person doesn't pop up right now. As she turns around, there standing next to her is a salesman.
"Good day, Madame. How may we help you today?" Very uncomfortably she asks, "Sir, what is the price of this lovely vehicle?" He answers, "Madame, if you farted just touching it, you are going to shit yourself when you hear the price!"
poza 1. cat on net
38.3KB
_______________________________________ "me - we" (Muhammad Ali)
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