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oameni buni welcome!
io nu mai rezist psihic in orasul asta....ma topesc fizic, psihic si spiritual....
nu e corect....mai da ti draqu drumu la aeru conditionat sau la venilator...sa sufle un pic de vant....incredibil
is in plina forma si actiune....dar cu caldura aiasta nu si mai poati....
mama ei de treaba....
noah irelevant....nu va racoriti voi cu rasete, dar macar va mai descretiti transpiratia de pe frunti
here we go in 5, 4, 3, 2, .... 1.....LAUNCH
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Due to inherit a fortune when his sickly, widower father dies, Robert decided he needed a woman to enjoy it with. So he went to a singles bar and he searched until he spotted a woman whose beauty took his breath away. "Right now, I'm just an ordinary man," he said, walking up to her, "but within a month or two, my father will pass on. Then I will inherit over 20 million dollars." The woman went home with Robert, and four days later she became his stepmother...
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A young man named Adrian bought a donkey from a farmer for $100. The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day. When the farmer drove up the next day, he said, "Sorry son, I have some bad news. The donkey is on my truck, but I'm afraid he's dead."
Adrian replied, "Well then, just give me my money back." The farmer said, "I can't do that. I went and spent it already." Adrian said, "Just unload the donkey anyway."
The farmer asked, "What are you going to do with him?" Adrian said, "I'm going to raffle him off." But Adrian , with a big smile on his face, said "Oh yes I can! Watch me. I just won't tell anybody that he's dead."
A month later the farmer met up with Adrian and asked, "What happened with that dead donkey?" Adrian said, "I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at two dollars a piece and made a profit of $798.00."
Totally amazed, the farmer asked, "Didn't anyone complain that you had stolen their money because you lied about the donkey being dead?"
Adrian replied, "The only guy who found out about the donkey being dead was the raffle winner, when he came to claim his prize. So I gave him his $2 back plus $200 extra, which is double the going value of a donkey, so he thought I was a really great guy."
Adrian grew up and eventually became the Prime Minister of Romania, and no matter how many times he lied or how much money he took from Aussie voters, as long as he gave them back some of the money, most of them thought he was a great guy.
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Wife tells her husband over breakfast: "I've had this incredible dream: we were making love and there was this huge African man standing behind us, fanning us with this huge fan on a pole. It was so exciting, I had four orgasms!"
The comment played on the man's mind all day and sure enough, he managed to find a huge African man who was prepared to fan them for a reasonable fee.
That night, the couple made love. But lo and behold, there was no orgasm. The wife proposed that her husband and the huge African man swap places and so they did. Wife and African went at it and the orgasms kept coming, while the husband fanned away.
When it was all over, the husband tapped the huge African man on the shoulder and said: "See - that's how you have to use the fan."
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filmuletzul 1. Robin Williams
http://grab.orsm.net/php/movies.php?fil ... africa.wmv
spotul 2. james blunt super funny
http://grab.orsm.net/php/movies.php?fil ... leeson.mp3
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Two career drunks were extremely thirsty one Saturday night and decided to go to the store to get some cheap booze. In the store, the first drunk says, "All right, I have 87 cents; how much do you have?" His friend replies, "I have a dollar. What can we get for $1.87?"
The first drunk spots a big Italian sausage on the rack for only $1.80 and has a great idea. "Hey, here's what we can do," he says. "We'll buy that sausage there and put it in my pants. We'll go into a bar and order drinks. After the drinks are gone, I'll pull out the sausage and you start sucking on it. They'll kick us out of the bar and we won't have to pay!" The second drunk agrees and they head off to the bar.
They walk in and order two beers and drink them down. When the beer is gone, the first drunk whips out the sausage and the second starts sucking on it. "What the bloody hell are you doing? You dirty bastards! - Get out of my bar!" yells the bartender, and the two run out laughing.
"That was great, and it didn't cost us a cent," says the second drunk. "Let's do it again!" So off they run to another bar for a repeat performance. This continues for some hours.
At the end of the night, after about the 20th bar, the second drunk says, "Man what a great night. All this drinking is making me hungry. Hey, pull out that sausage and let's divvy it up and eat it."
"Sausage?" says the first drunk. "Oh, yeah... the sausage. I dropped the sausage on the floor about eight bars ago!"
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The company hires a new man. He was supposed to start work on a Monday, but instead of showing up, he calls his boss. "I'm sick," he says. The boss excuses him.
Come Tuesday morning the man shows up as promised and works throughout the week, greatly impressing everyone with his diligence and ability.
The next Monday, he once again calls his boss. "I'm sick," he says. Again the boss reluctantly excuses him, but notices that this is the second Monday in a row.
Once again, the man shows up Tuesday morning and works throughout the week, even faster and better than the previous week.
The following Monday, he calls his boss again. "I'm sick." The boss excuses him again but decides to call the man to task on Tuesday.
Tuesday comes and as soon as the man shows up, the boss calls him into his office. "What gives?" asks the boss. "I can see you're a hard worker, but you've only been here three weeks and you've called in sick every Monday."
Man says, "Well, my sister is in a bad marriage and I go over to console her every Monday morning before work. One thing leads to another and we end up making love all day long." "Your sister!?!" says the boss. "That's disgusting!" Man says, "Yeah... I told you I was sick!"
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When NASA was preparing for the Apollo Project, it took the astronauts to a Navajo reservation in Arizona for training.
One day, a Navajo elder and his son came across the space crew walking among the rocks. The elder, who spoke only Navajo, asked a question. His son translated for the NASA people: "What are these guys in the big suits doing?" One of the astronauts said that they were practicing for a trip to the moon. When his son relayed this comment the Navajo elder got all excited and asked if it would be possible to give to the astronauts a message to deliver to the moon.
Recognising a promotional opportunity when he saw one, a NASA official accompanying the astronauts said, "Why certainly!" and told an underling to get a tape recorder.
The Navajo elder's comments into the microphone were brief. The NASA official asked the son if he would translate what his father had said. The son listened to the recording and laughed uproariously. But he refused to translate.
So the NASA people took the tape to a nearby Navajo village and played it for other members of the tribe. They too laughed long and loudly, but also refused to translate the elder's message to the moon.
An official government translator was summoned. After he finally stopped laughing, the translator relayed the message: "WATCH OUT FOR THESE ASSHOLES. THEY HAVE COME TO STEAL YOUR LAND."
poza 1. evolution of man
31.6KB
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"me - we" (Muhammad Ali)
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