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noah fratilor
vacantza i gata
incepem iara activitatile pline de suspans si erotism....adica ne bagam pilula in ea de treaba....
nu i bai ca numa maine nu i poimaine si tre sa merg sa va iau cadouri de craciun....
din pacate vad ca tineretul eroic si stoic al tarii noastre nu se prea ocupa cu cartea si de aia is salile pline la examene....nasoala treaba urat moment
cred ca am cam terminat cu blogu ca is obo...studentii is de vina 
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Bono is at a U2 concert in Dublin when he asks the audience for some quiet. Then in the silence, he starts to slowly clap his hands. Holding the audience in total silence, he says in to the microphone... "Every time I clap my hands, a child in Africa dies." A voice from near the front pierces the silence... "Well, fucking stop clapping then!!" --------
I urgently needed a few days off work, but I knew the Boss would not allow me to take any leave. I thought that maybe if I acted 'CRAZY' then he would tell me to take a few days off. So I hung upside-down on the ceiling and made funny noises.
My co-worker (who's blonde) asked me what I was doing? I told her that I was pretending to be a light bulb so that the Boss might think I was 'CRAZY' and give me a few days off.
A few minutes later the Boss came into the office and asked "What are you doing?" I told him I was a light bulb. He said "You are clearly stressed out. Go home and recuperate for a couple of days". I jumped down and walked out of the office.
When my co-worker (the blonde) followed me, the Boss asked her "...and where do you think you're going?" She said, "I'm going home too, I can't work in the dark. ---------
A young blonde was on vacation and driving through the Everglades wanted to take home a pair of genuine alligator shoes, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking. After becoming very frustrated with the "no haggle on prices" attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, "Well then, maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator, so I can get a pair of shoes for free!"
The shopkeeper said with a sly, knowing smile, "Little lady, just go and give it a try!" SoThe blonde headed out toward the swamps, determined to catch an alligator.
Later in the day, as the shopkeeper is driving home, he pulls over to the side of the levee where he spots the same young woman standing waist deep in the murky bayou water, shotgun in hand. Just then, he spots a huge 9-foot gator swimming rapidly toward her. With lightning speed, she takes aim, kills the creature and hauls it onto the slimy bank of the swamp.
Lying nearby were 7 more of the dead creatures, all lying on their backs.
The shopkeeper stood on the bank, watching in silent amazement. The blonde struggled and flipped the gator onto its back. Rolling her eyes heavenward and screaming in great frustration, she shouts out.. "SHIT... THIS ONE'S BAREFOOT, TOO!" --------
filmuletul 1. nascar sau box? http://grab.orsm.net/php/movies.php?fil ... myspit.wmv
filmuletul 2. crazy biker (pe bitză http://grab.orsm.net/php/movies.php?fil ... ishing.wmv
filmuletul 3. dansatoare la bară http://grab.orsm.net/php/movies.php?fil ... eplant.wmv --------- The couple was each 85 years old, and had been married for sixty years. Though they were far from rich, they managed to get by because they watched their pennies. Though not young, they were both in very good health, largely due to the wife's insistence on healthy foods and exercise for the last decade.
One day, their good health didn't help when they went on a rare vacation and their plane crashed, sending them off to Heaven. They reached the pearly gates, and St. Peter escorted them inside. He took them to a beautiful mansion, furnished in gold and fine silks, with a fully stocked kitchen and a waterfall in the master bath. A maid could be seen hanging their favourite clothes in the closet. They gasped in astonishment when he said, "Welcome to Heaven. This will be your home now."
The old man asked St. Peter how much all this was going to cost. "Why, nothing," St. Peter replied, "Remember, this is your reward in Heaven."
The old man looked out the window and right there he saw a championship golf course, finer and more beautiful than any ever built on Earth. "What are the greens fees?" grumbled the old man. "This is heaven," St. Peter replied. "You can play free, every day."
Next they went to the clubhouse and saw the lavish buffet lunch, with every imaginable cuisine laid out before them, from seafood to steaks to exotic deserts, free-flowing beverages and a fountain of Champagne. "Don't even ask," said St. Peter to the man. "This is Heaven, it is all free for you to enjoy."
The old man looked around and glanced nervously at his wife. "Well, where are the low fat and low cholesterol foods, and the decaffeinated tea?" he asked. "That's the best part," St. Peter replied. "You can eat and drink as much as you like of whatever you like, and you will never get fat or sick. This is Heaven!"
The old man pushed, "No gym to work out at all?" "Not unless you want to," was the answer. "No testing my sugar or blood pressure or..." "Never again. All you do here is enjoy yourself."
The old man glared at his wife and said, "You and your bran muffins! We could have been here twenty years ago!" ---------
A man was having problems with premature ejaculation so he decided to go to the doctor. He asked the doctor what he could do to cure his problem. In response, the doctor said, "When you feel like you are getting ready to ejaculate, try startling yourself."
That same day the man went to the store and bought himself a starter pistol. All excited to try this suggestion, he ran home to his wife. At home, he found his wife was in bed, naked and waiting. As the two began, they found themselves in the 69 position. The man, moments later, felt the sudden urge to ejaculate and fired the starter pistol.
The next day, the man went back to the doctor. The doctor asked, "How did it go?"
The man answered, "Not that well...when I fired the pistol, my wife peed in my face, bit 3 inches off my penis and my neighbour came out of the closet with his hands in the air!"
poza 1. blow baby...blow
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_______________________________________ "me - we" (Muhammad Ali)
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