Momentul mult asteptat – MAAAAAASLIIIIIINAAAAAAAAAAAAAA SAPTAMANALAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Incep sa ma stresez cu greva lor ca parka nimeni nu mai are chef de munca in tara asta…. in afara de mine…..evident – io is spargatorul de greva #1
Parca trece timpul prea repede si o saptamna zboara – si mai e un pic s se termina si anul asta. Evident ca incep discutiile despre unde si cum sarbatorim trecerea in noul an – sincer – discutam in 31 dec pe la 6-7 seara.
Desi am promis fanilor (de fapt fanei….dar ma rog nu vreau sa insult pe cineva) 2 chestii noi va fi doar una. Si anume un top care va fi facut annual cred. In fiecare saptamana se vor da 3 premii si puncte corespunzatoare (un fel de top rusinica sau cine sau ce ne enerveaza – cei care citesc Academia Catavencu stiu despre ce vorbesc).
Locul 1Extra - tampeu(3 puncte) Nicolae Vacaroiu. Nici-o-laie Vacaroiu a mai comis-o o data. Acest Gaga-gaga-rin facut pe el a mai scos o tampenie care ne face san e intrebam daca este corect ca nu am emigrat inca de acum 10 ani, daca acest ipochimen este inca la putere si decide pentru noi din Parlament. N. Vacaroiu se opune principiului privind transparenta. Vodcaroiu nu vrea ca votul fiecarui senator la fiecare proiect de lege sa fie facut public pe Internet si are un argument complet cretin: la o tona de hartie se consuma 2,3 metri cubi de lemn din padurile Romaniei! Betivul numarul unu al Romaniei nu a aflat inca faptul ca Internetul nu merge cu lemne si nici cu drojdie. Mama-ha-ha de ce nu m-ai lasat sa emigreeeeee-heee-eeeez? (Academia Catavencu 2-8 nov 2005)
Locul 2 Naivitate (2 puncte) Studentii oradeni. Saracii de cand cu greva profesorilor s-au solidarizat si ei, ca doar ii mai bines a stai acasa (n.a. si sa citesti maslina) decat sa te ocupi de scoala. Mai sunt cei care sunt la taxa. Saracii, it does NOT get mai naiv de atat. Ei nu isi dau seama ca trebuiau sa mearga acasa la profi, sa ii ia de guler si sa ii aduca la scoala sa isi faca treaba, pt ca de aia au platit taxe
Locul 3 Tupeu (1 punct) Conducerea Universitatii Oradea. Nu dau nume ca nu are nici un rost … mai ales pt fanii care nu sunt din Oradea. Dar nesimtirea e maxima. Timp de 3 saptamani, de cand a inceput scoala, coada la taxe a fost ca pe vremuri – toata lumea s-o grabit sa isi plateasca scolarizarea. Si acuma universitatea nu are bani de salarii….incredibil….toti cei din conducerea Univ. is profi si au salarii de la 50 de mil in sus iar pt restul nu au sa dea….HUO…. Rusine…..
Si daca nu v-a fost de ajuns cu treburi de lipit pe masina:
We're born naked, wet, & hungry. Then things get worse. Look out - I collect ass-whippings. If you say one more word, I'm going to put my umbrella in your pants and open it. No machine can do my job until it learns how to eat! If I gave a shit, you'd be the first one I gave it to. Behind every dick is an ass hole. Humpty Dumpty was Pushed. Who the hell would throw shit at a fan? Never Underestimate The Power Of Stupid People In Large Groups Sorry, I just haven't been the same since that house fell on my sister. We are Microsoft. Resistance Is Futile. Very funny Scotty, Now beam down my Clothes!!! Remember to use ALL fingers when waving at a policeman! If it's called tourist season, why can't we hunt them?
I started out with nothing and I still have most of it left My delinquent son is having sex with your honour student. WARNING! Teenage driver: following too close may result in a booger on your windshield! I farted so you'd smell better. Hey idiot, hang up! You are driving a car, not a phone booth. Friends don't let friends drive naked. My wife's other car is a broom. My other car is a piece of crap too!
Us blondes aren't dumb BLONDE if you're HONK!!
Did you hear about the blonde that tripped over her cordless phone? It's lonely at the top, but you eat better. Never play leap frog with a unicorn.
"Father, during World War II, a beautiful woman knocked on my door and asked me to hide her from the enemy. So I hid her in my attic." The priest replied, "That was a wonderful thing you did, my son! And you have no need to confess that." "It's worse than that, father. She started to repay me with sexual favors." The priest said, "By doing that, you were both in great danger. However, two people under those circumstances can be very tempted to act that way. But if you are truly sorry for your actions, you are indeed forgiven." "Thank you, Father. That's a great load off my mind. But I do have one more question ." "And what is that?" asked the priest. "Should I tell her the war is over?"
We've all heard about people having guts or balls. But do you really know the difference between them? In an effort to keep you informed, the definition for each is listed below .... GUTS - is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being assaulted by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to ask: "Are you still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?" BALLS - is coming home late after a night out with the guys, smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the ass and having the balls to say: "You're next." I hope this clears up any confusion on the subject. ----
prima poza: o pisica suparata pe viata
Maslina saptamanala nr 6 - chill and relax – poza de connoisseur, in Maslina saptamanala · 27.7KB
my top ? here it is : 1.We are Microsoft. Resistance Is Futile. 2.Vacaroiu (rezista la primul , fara a fi influentat) 3.Tupeul cu salaru' la "U.O" ( a se citi Universitaea Zero)
