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Fiind vorba de maslina nr 10 – editie speciala festiva alea alea – nu puteam sa ma abtin sa nu bag un blog mai lung si mai plictisitor. Saptamana extraordinara ce tocmai a trecut a inceput cu un eveniment mai mult decat hilar. Urma sa imi prezint nush’ce referat la nush’ce master. La care o colega vine la mine sa o las sa prezinte inaintea mea pt ca tre sa mearga acasa sa alapteze. No comment! Ce mai puteam sa spun!??!?!? Noah ma rog bine ca am trecut si peste asta
Sambata seara a fost iures maxim in bali…pentru ca inima mea moare atunci cand sunetul dispareeee….trecem din nou peste bunaciunile de ambele sexe (yummiiee!!!) dar nu pot sa nu povestesc o alta faza mai mult decat weird. Din cauza unor “presiuni� omu mai tre sa mearga si la baie…din cand in cand. Toaleta plina(cred ca pe toata lumea o apucat-o presiunile in acelasi timp). Evident. Dar dupa cateva momentem dintr-unul din WC urile din toaleta pt masculi ies 2 tipe. In prima faza am crezut ca nu am nimerit unde trebe, dar apoi am vazut pisoarele...tipele nu or avut nici o taina...s-or spalat frumos pe manutze, si cu zambetul pe buza au iesit si au continuat sa PARTY!!! Acuma sper din tot sufletul si spre binele tipului cu care stateau la masa domnitzele, ca they did not piss standing, pentru ca in cazul acesta, tipul respectiv is in for a huge and hard surprise…
Noah va ajunge?!?!?!
FRIENDSHIP AMONGST WOMEN: one doesn't come home one night, and tells her boyfriend that she spent the night with a female friend of hers. Boyfriend calls 10 of her friends and none know a thing. -- FRIENDSHIP AMONGST MEN: same thing happens. Man says he spent the night at a friends place. Girlfriend calls 10 of his friends. 8 confirm he has been there, and the two others say he's still there.
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Mick was in court for a double murder and the judge said, "You are charged with beating your wife to death with a spanner." A voice at the back of the courtroom yelled out, "You bastard!"
The judge continued, "You are also charged with beating your daughter to death with a spanner." Again, the voice at the back of the courtroom yelled out, "You dirty lying bastard!!!"
The judge stopped, looked at the man in the back of the courtroom, and said, Paddy, I can understand your anger and frustration at this crime, but I will not have any more of these outbursts from you or I shall charge you with contempt! Now what is the problem?"
Paddy, at the back of the court stood up and responded, "For fifteen years I've lived next door to that bastard. And every time I asked to borrow a fucking spanner, he said he didn't have one!"
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WHY MEN ARE HAPPIER
Men Are Just Happier People - What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack.
You can be President. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth.
The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100.
People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its original colour. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
You only have to shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life. One wallet and one pair of shoes, one colour for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a moustache..
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.
No wonder men are happier.
filmuletzul 1 un tip cu ceva arcuri face amazing stunts http://grab.orsm.net/php/movies.php?fil ... stylin.wmv
filmuletzul 2 much respect to dave chapelle - a funny foker http://grab.orsm.net/php/movies.php?fil ... apelle.wmv
filmuletzul 3 as vrea si io sa lucrez pt astia http://grab.orsm.net/php/movies.php?fil ... ceteam.wmv
filmuletzul 4 Dubya (george W bush pt neinitiati) ii funny http://grab.orsm.net/php/movies.php?fil ... hfunny.wmv
filmuletzul 5 un chinez tare indemanatic http://grab.orsm.net/php/movies.php?fil ... savers.wmv
---- Before the inauguration, George Bush was invited to a get acquainted tour of the White House. After drinking several glasses of iced tea, he asked Bill Clinton if he could use his personal bathroom. There, he was astonished to see that the President had a gold urinal.
That afternoon, George told his wife, Laura, about the urinal. "Just think," he said, "When I am President, I'll get to have a gold urinal!" Later, when Laura had lunch with Hillary at her tour of the White House, she told Hillary how impressed George had been with his discovery of the fact that in the President's private bathroom, the President had a gold urinal.
Later that evening, Bill and Hillary were getting ready for bed. Hillary turned to Bill and said, "By the way, I found out who pissed in your saxophone."
----- A married couple was in a terrible accident where the woman's face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn't graft any skin from her body because she was too skinny. So the husband offered to donate some of his own skin.
However, the only skin on his body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from his buttocks. The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from, and requested that the doctor also honour their secret. After all, this was a very delicate matter.
After the surgery was completed, everyone was astounded at the woman's new beauty. She looked more beautiful than she ever had before! All her friends and relatives just went on and on about her youthful beauty! One day, she was alone with her husband, and she was overcome with emotion at his sacrifice. She said, "Dear, I just want to thank you for everything you did for me. There is no way I could ever repay you."
"My darling," he replied, "think nothing of it. I get all the thanks I need every time I see your mother kiss you on the cheek."
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The Australian Transportation Safety Board recently divulged they had covertly funded a project with the Australian auto maker Ford for the past five years, whereby the auto makers were installing black boxes in V8 vehicles in an effort to determine, in fatal accidents, the circumstances in the last 15 seconds before the crash.
They were surprised to find in almost all states the last words of drivers in 61.2 percent of fatal crashes were, "Oh, Shit!". Only the state of Queensland was different, where 89.3 percent of the final words were: "Hold my beer mate and watch this!"
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Three men, an Italian, a Frenchman and a Spaniard went for a job interview in England. Before the interview, they were told that they must compose a sentence in English with three main words: green, pink and yellow.
The Italian was first: "I wake up in the morning. I see the yellow sun. I see the green Grass and I think to myself, I hope it will be a pink day."
The French was next: "I wake up in the morning, I eat a yellow banana, a green pepper and in the evening I watch the pink panther on TV."
Last was the Spanish: "I wake up in the morning, I hear the phone "green... green..." I Pink up the phone and I say "Yellow...?"
poza 1 - nu ma prea omor io cu animalele da asta chiar ii cute
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_______________________________________ "me - we" (Muhammad Ali)
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