halo....people o saptamana super sau nu? nu o sa mai vb de sesiune ca numa ma isterizez din nou...si stiu ca o sa treaca...eventualy
noah in rest toate-s roz....mai putin problema legata de faptul ca VA TREBUI SA MERG LA SUPRAVEGHEAT LA EXEMENE IN TOATE VICHENDURILE....dar am zis ca i am not going down that road....i'm in a happy place....oricum o trecut
nah gut.... fasten your seat belts....ca incepem... ----------- A 5-year old boy went to visit his grandmother one day. While playing with his toys in her bedroom while grandma was dusting furniture, he looked up and said, "Grandma, how come you don't have a boyfriend?" Grandma replied, "Honey, my TV is my boyfriend. I can set in my bedroom and watch it all day long. The TV evangelists keep me company and make me feel so good.
The comedies make me laugh. I'm so happy with my TV as my boyfriend." Grandma turned on the TV and the picture was horrible. She started adjusting the knobs trying to get the picture in focus. Frustrated, she started hitting on the backside of the TV hoping to fix the problem. The little boy heard the doorbell ring so he hurried to open the door.
When he opened the door, there stood Grandma's minister. The minister said, "Hello son is your grandma home?" The little boy replied, "Yeah, she's in the bedroom bangin' her boyfriend." ----
A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night and have dinner with her parents. Since this is such a big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go out and make love for the first time.
Well, the boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some condoms. The pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. He tells the boy everything there is to know about condoms and sex. At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms he'd like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family pack.
The boy insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be rather busy, it being his first time and all. That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parent’s house and meets his girlfriend at the door. "Oh, I'm so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in!"
The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the girl's parents are seated. The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head. A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer, with his head down. 10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy.
Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend leans over and whispers to the boyfriend, "I had no idea you were this religious." The boy turns, and whispers back, "I had no idea your father was a pharmacist."
An officer in the U.S. Naval Reserve was attending a conference that included admirals from both the U.S. Navy and the French Navy. At a cocktail reception, he found himself in a small group that included personnel from both navies.
The French Admiral started complaining that whereas Europeans learned many languages, Americans learned only English. He then asked, "Why is it that we have to speak English in these conferences rather than you speak French?"
Without hesitating, the American Admiral replied: "Maybe it is because the Brits, Canadians, Aussies, and Americans arranged it so you would not have to speak German." The group became silent. ----
There was an engineer, manager, and a programmer driving down a steep mountain road. The brakes failed and the car careened down the road out of control. Half way down the driver managed to stop the car by running it against the embankment narrowly avoiding careening off the cliff. They all got out, shaken by their narrow escape from death, but otherwise unharmed.
The manager said, "To fix this problem we need to organize a committee, have meetings, and through process of continuous improvement, develop a solution."
The engineer said, "No that would take too long, besides that method never worked before. I have my trusty pen knife here and will take apart the brake system, isolate the problem and correct it."
The programmer said, "I think your both wrong! I think we should all push the car back up the hill and see if it happens again." --------
unul din bancurile mele preferate....nu sunt deloc xenofob sau sovin....tre sa radeti da?
Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Heaven, God went missing for six days. Eventually, Michael the archangel found him, resting on the seventh day. He inquired of God, "Where have you been?" God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds. "Look Michael, look what I've made."
Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, "What is it?" "It's a planet," replied God, "and I've put LIFE on it. I'm going to call it Earth, and it's going to be a place of great balance." "Balance?" inquired Michael, still confused.
God explained, pointing to different parts of Earth. "For example, Northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth while Southern Europe is going to be poor. The Middle East over there will be a hot spot. Over there I've placed a continent of white people and over there is a continent of black people,"
God continued, pointing to different countries. "And over there, I call this place America. North America will be rich and powerful and cold, while South America will be poor and hot and friendly. And the little spot in the middle is Central America, which is a hot spot. Can you see the balance?"
"Yes," said the Archangel, impressed by Gods work. Then he pointed to a large land mass and asked, "What's that one?" "Ah," said God. "That's Romania, the most glorious place on Earth. There are beautiful mountains, forests, rivers, streams and an exquisite coastline. The people are good looking, intelligent and humorous, and they're going to be found travelling the world. They'll be extremely sociable, hard working and high achieving, and they will be known throughout the world as diplomats and carriers of peace. I'm also going to give them super-human, undefeatable football, rugby, tennis and handball players who will be admired and feared by all who come across them".
Michael gasped in wonder and admiration, but then exclaimed "But you said there would be BALANCE!" God replied wisely, "Wait until you see the ugly, whingeing, sheep-raping Moldavian bastards I'm putting next to them."
poza 1. all scream for icecream
maslina saptamanala nr 16. - totul ii roz...la voi? – poza de connoisseur, in Maslina saptamanala · 26.6KB
oved : condom joke , Navy joke :P , but the moldoveni was .. emm ... na okay i loved them all ... just hope nobody has moldavian relatives around ...
amu ma holb la filme ... * da, pe langa ca ceva ii "fishy" la filmu ala cu pescuitu` ... or si pus saundtrack din TopGun, aia ce vrea sa insemne ?
* hmmm, de corason : mashini , zapada/noroi ... si linkin park. mai frumos nici ca se poate
* wait a minit "so called" ..global warning? *bitchslap. tha rayz are increasing lava flows ? BIIIItchslap .. i start my day thinking of the .. .worming of the globe ... ioi ... it was hot back then too ? why do u think adam and eve were naked ????? beaaatchslaap ...
super, zupa dupa ...
miezu maslina de sapt asta .... si scrie cuvantu roz in titlu.. oai.. pt corazon o fost. :P
