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helou again
imi pare bine sa va revad
in primul rand am un mesaj pentru monica barladeanu: nu ma mai suna....vreau sa dtie toata lumea...nu mai suntem impreuna...
si acum ca am terminat cu acesta mica problema sa revenim la esentze...saptamana interesanta....fara examene...si mai este unu si am termina....examen that is....in rest toate roze....desi parca nici rozul nu mai e cum era pe vremuri
asadar sa incepem
pentru ca se tot discuta problema....luati o fabula
After capture and posting bond, two young men are released from jail for 30 days pending their trial for possession of drugs. When their trial date finally arrived, they found themselves standing before the Judge facing 5 long years in prison.
The Judge, looking down at the two young men from his bench, was attempting to be empathetic with their case. He asks the first young man, "If you can tell me anything you have done, that has helped people in any way, while out on bond for the last 30 days, I will be lenient on your jail time".
He replies, "Thank you sir. In the last 30 days I've gotten 16 people off drugs and this is how I did it."
He begins by asking for a pen and paper, and draws a very small circle. While pointing to the circle, he starts by saying, "I simply explained to the kids, that the small circle represented their brain on drugs. Then I drew a large circle and told them that this was their brain if they stayed off of drugs. Realising that they would be able to use more of their brain capacity without drugs, they all decided to quit using drugs. And that's how I did it your Honor.
The Judge after listening to the young man, felt he made good sense, and only sentenced him to 30 days in county jail.
Then the second young man was ordered to step up to the bench. The Judge them asks him the same question. He also begins by drawing two circles on a piece of paper, one large and one small.
"Judge", he says, "I got 80 people off drugs and here's how I did it". As he points to the smaller of the two circles, he says, "This is your ass BEFORE you go to prison..."
Three tortoises, Russell, Steve and Dave, decide to go on a picnic. So Dave packs the picnic basket with beer and sandwiches. The trouble is the picnic site is ten miles away so it takes them ten days to get there.
When they get there Dave unpacks the food and beer. "OK Russ give me the bottle opener."
"I didn't bring it," says Russ. "I thought you packed it." Dave gets worried, He turns to Steve, "Did you bring the bottle opener?"
Naturally Steve didn't bring it. So they're stuck ten miles from home without a bottle opener. Dave and Steve beg Russ to go back for it. But he refuses as he says they will eat all the sandwiches. After two hours, and after they have sworn on their tortoise lives that they will not eat the sandwiches, he finally agrees.
So Russ sets off down the road at a steady pace. Twenty days pass and he still isn't back and Dave and Steve are starving, but a promise is a promise.
Another five days and he still isn't back, but a promise is a promise. Finally they can't take it any longer so they take out a sandwich each and just as they are about to eat it, Russell pops up from behind a rock and shouts:
"I KNEW IT!!..... YOU BASTARDS!!..... I'M NOT FUCKING GOING NOW!!!"
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filmuletzul 1 choper prezinta sportul
http://grab.orsm.net/php/movies.php?fil ... sports.wmv
filmuletzul 2 filmuletze pt copii (remus te simtzi?)
http://grab.orsm.net/php/movies.php?fil ... iedkid.wmv
filmuletzul 3 tot pt nagualu - fara numar
http://grab.orsm.net/php/movies.php?fil ... disadj.wmv
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A couple attending an art exhibition at the National art gallery were staring at a portrait that had them totally confused. The painting depicted three black men sitting totally naked on a park bench. Two of the black men had black penises, but the one sitting in the middle had a pink penis.
The curator of the gallery realised that the confused couple where having trouble interpreting the painting and offered his assessment. He went on and on for nearly half an hour explaining how it depicted the sexual emasculation of black African Americans in a predominately white patriotical society. "In fact" he pointed out, "some serious critics believe the pink penis reflects the cultural and social oppression expressed by gay men in a contemporary society."
After the curator had left, a Scotsmen approached the couple and said to the couple "Would you like to know what that painting is really about?" The couple said "How would you claim to know more about the painting than the curator of The Gallery." "Because I'm the guy who painted it!" he replied "in fact, there is no African American representation at all. They're just three Scottish coal miners and the guy in the middle went home for lunch!"
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unul din bancurile mele preferate
A young lady, goes to her local pet store in search of an exotic pet. As she looks about the tore, she notices a box full of live frogs. The sign says: "Sex Frogs! Only $20 each! Money Back Guarantee! Comes with complete instructions."
The girl excitedly looks around to see if anybody's watching her. She whispers softly to the man behind the counter, "I'll take one." The man packages the frog and says, "Just follow the instructions." The girl nods, grabs the box, and is quickly on her way home.
As soon as she closes the door to her apartment, she pulls out the instructions and reads them very carefully. She does exactly what is specified:
"Take a shower. Splash on some nice perfume. Slip into a very sexy nightie. Crawl into bed and place the frog down beside you and allow the frog to follow its training."
She then quickly gets into bed with the frog and, to her surprise, nothing happens! The girl is very disappointed and quite upset at this point. She re-reads the instructions and notices at the bottom of the paper it says "If you have any problems or questions, please call the pet store." So, the lady calls the pet store. The man says, "I'll be right over."
Within minutes, the man is ringing her doorbell. The lady welcomes him in and says, "See, I've done everything according to the instructions. The damn thing just sits there."
The man, looking very concerned, picks up the frog, stares directly into its eyes and sternly says: "Listen to me you little bastard! I'm only going to show you how to do this one more time...."
poza 1. ursi
47.5KB
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"me - we" (Muhammad Ali)
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