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dobrovece...or smthin
m-o pus necuratu sa ma duc la sud de Dunare....64 de ore de calatorie, 20 de ore de stat prin gari si asteptat legaturi...va mai spun?
dar nu va panicati...la bulgari situatia ii la fel de cacanie ca la noi....doar ca la ei ii mult mai multa politie....si pe mine m-or luat la intrebari la un moment dat pe tren si evident ca prima reactie o fost: i don't speak bulgarian....problema era ca nici el nu vb engleza asa ca ne-am inteles de minune. zice: bagaj...noah ii bun ma ridic in picioare si merg in compartimentul alaturat unde imi erau bagajele si s-o rezolvat. ma mutasem din respectivul compartiment deoarece s-au urcat 3 persoane de sex feminin....mdea....si toate trei trecute de primele...3,4 tinereti....asa ca nu incepeti sa ma injurati....
noah irelevant bine ca m-am intors
luati o maslina:
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An atheist was spending a quiet day fishing when suddenly his boat was attacked by the Loch Ness monster. In one easy flip, the beast tossed him and his boat high into the air. Then it opened its mouth to swallow both. As the man sailed head over heels, he cried out, "Oh, my God! Help me!" At once, the ferocious attack scene froze in place, and as the atheist hung in mid-air, a booming voice came down from the clouds, "I thought you didn't believe in Me!" "Come on God, give me a break!!" the man pleaded. "Two minutes ago I didn't believe in the Loch Ness monster either!"
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In the year 2006, the Lord came unto Noah, who was now living in Australia, and said, "Once again, the earth has become wicked and over-populated and I see the end of all flesh before me. Build another Ark and save two of every living thing along with a few good humans."
He gave Noah the blueprints, saying, "You have six months to build the Ark before I will start the unending rain for 40 days and 40 nights".
Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah weeping in his yard... but no ark.
"Noah", He roared, "I'm about to start the rain! Where is the Ark?" "Forgive me, Lord," begged Noah. "But things have changed.
“I needed a building permit. I've been arguing with the inspector about the need for a sprinkler system. My neighbours claim that I've violated the neighbourhood zoning laws by building the Ark in my yard and exceeding the height limitations. We had to go to VCAT for a decision.â€
“Then the electricity companies demanded a bond be posted for the future costs of moving power lines and other overhead obstructions, to clear the passage for the Ark's move to the sea. I argued that the sea would be coming to us, but they would hear nothing of it.â€
“Getting the wood was another problem. There's a ban on cutting local trees in order to save the spotted owl. I tried to convince the environmentalists that I needed the wood to save the owls. But no go!â€
“When I started gathering the animals, I got sued by an animal rights group. They insisted that I was confining wild animals against their will. As well, they argued the accommodation was too restrictive and it was cruel and inhumane to put so many animals in a confined space.â€
“Then the EPA ruled that I couldn't build the Ark until they'd conducted an environmental impact study on your proposed flood. I'm still trying to resolve a complaint with the Human Rights Commission on how many minorities I'm supposed to hire for my building crew. Also, the trades unions say I can't use my sons. They insist I have to hire only Union workers with Ark building experience.â€
“To make matters worse, the Tax Office seized all my assets, claiming I'm trying to leave the country illegally with endangered species.â€
“So, forgive me, Lord, but it would take at least ten years for me to finish this Ark."
Suddenly the skies cleared, the sun began to shine, and a rainbow stretched across the sky. Noah looked up in wonder and asked, "You mean, you’re not going to destroy the world?" "No," said the Lord. "The government beat me to it."
filmuletul 1 ricky jervaiz at microsoft
http://grab.orsm.net/php/movies.php?fil ... rosoft.wmv
filmuletul 2 catei smecheri
http://grab.orsm.net/php/movies.php?fil ... oggies.wmv
filmuletul 3 desfacut de sutiene contratimp....(my fav game)
http://grab.orsm.net/php/movies.php?fil ... faster.wmv
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A Mafia Godfather finds out that his bookkeeper has screwed him out of ten million bucks; his bookkeeper is deaf. It was considered an occupational benefit, and the reason he got the job in the first place, since it was assumed that a deaf bookkeeper would not be able to hear anything that he'd ever have to testify about in court.
When the Godfather goes to shakedown the bookkeeper about his missing $10 million bucks, he brings along his attorney, who knows sign language. The Godfather asks the bookkeeper: "Where is the 10 million bucks you embezzled from me?"
The attorney, using sign language, asks the bookkeeper where the 10 million bucks is hidden. The bookkeeper signs back: "I don't know what you are talking about."
The attorney tells the Godfather: "He says he doesn't know what you're talking about. That's when the Godfather pulls out a 9 mm pistol, puts it to the bookkeeper's temple, cocks it, and says: "Ask him again!
The attorney signs to the underling: "He'll kill you for sure if you don't tell him!" The bookkeeper signs back: "OK! You win! The money is in a brown briefcase, buried behind the shed in my cousin Enzo's backyard in Queens!
The Godfather asks the attorney: "Well, what'd he say?" The Attorney replies: "He says you don't have the balls to pull the trigger."
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A store that sells new husbands has just opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates: You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building.
So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads: Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs.
The second floor sign reads: Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.
The third floor sign reads: Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking.
Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going. She goes to the fourth floor and sign reads: Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework.
"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!" Still, she goes to the fifth floor and sign reads: Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.
She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the Sign reads: Floor 6 - You are visitor 3 1,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please.
Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.
To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opens a New Wives store just across the street. The first floor has wives that love sex. The second floor has wives that love sex and have money. The third through sixth floors have never been visited.
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A man took his wife to the rodeo and one of the first exhibits they stopped at was the breeding bulls. They went up to the first pen and there was a sign attached that said, "This bull mated 50 times last year." The wife playfully nudged her husband in the ribs and said, "He mated 50 times last year."
They walked to the second pen which had a sign attached that said, "This bull mated 120 times last year." The wife gave her husband a healthy jab and said, "That's more than twice a week! You could learn a lot from him."
They walked to the third pen and it had a sign attached that said, in capital letters, "This bull mated 365 times last year." The wife, so excited that her elbow nearly broke her husband's ribs, said, "That's once a day. You could REALLY learn something from this one."
The husband looked at her and said, "Go over and ask him if it was with the same cow."
NOTE: The husband's condition is stable and he should eventually make a full recovery.
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poza 1. the perfect woman
28.9KB
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"me - we" (Muhammad Ali)
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