imi cer scuze pentru scurta vacanta pe care mi-am permis-o dar parca lucrurile au luat=o razna pe-aici in ultimele zile si nu am avut vreme sa fac maslina.
nu ca acum ar fi mai flexata toata treaba, dar ii luni dimineatza...ora 8 si 13 min....si mi-am facut timp si pt voi....
vreau sa le multumesc celor care au fost la sarbatoarea maslinei si sa speram ca o vom tine tot in iuresuri tot anu!
dixtractie! ------------ A man went to a strip club. When he got inside he noticed a seat conspicuously unoccupied in the front row. Seizing the opportunity, he took the seat.
As soon as the first dancer walked out, the guy directly behind him yelled, "YEAH BABY! THAT'S WHAT I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR!"
The man in the front row turned around and gave him a dirty look. A few minutes into the show, the dancer did a move and snatched off her top, revealing two pasties. The guy behind our friend goes off again. "YEAH BABY! SHAKE THOSE THINGS."
Our friend turned around and said, "Hey buddy, calm down!"
After a few moments, the dancer did another move, and snatched off her dress, revealing a very thin G-string. Again the man behind our friend yelled out, "OH BABY! YOU'RE ALMOST THERE!"
Our friend again turned around and said, "Hey buddy, shut the hell up, will ya!"
A few minutes later, the dancer stretched out on the floor and snatched off both the pasties and the G-string, and the whole club went wild, except for the man behind our friend. Curious, our friend turned around and asked, "Say buddy, where's your enthusiasm now?" The guy responded, "It's on your back, dude." -------
Two old men decide they are close to their last days and decide to have a last night on the town. After a few drinks, they end up at the local brothel. The madam takes one look at the two old geezers and whispers to her manager, "go up to the first two bedrooms and put an inflated doll in each bed. These two are so old and drunk, I'm not wasting two of my girls on them. They won't know the difference."
The manager does as he is told and the two old men go upstairs and take care of their business.
As they are walking home the first man says, "you know, I think my girl was dead!". "Dead?" says his friend, "Why do you say that?". "Well, she never moved or made a sound all the time I was loving her." His friend says, "could be worse I think mine was a witch." " A witch!? Why the hell would you say that?" "Well, I was making love to her, kissing her on the neck and I gave her a little bite... then she farted and flew out of the window."
A drunk was proudly showing off his new apartment to a couple of his friends late one night. He led the way to his bedroom where there was a big brass gong and a mallet (ciocan). "What's that big brass gong?" one of the mates asked. "It's not a gong. It's a talking clock," the drunk replied. "A talking clock? Seriously?" asked his astonished friend. "Yup," replied the drunk. "How's it work?" the friend asked, squinting at it. "Watch," the drunk replied.
He picked up the mallet, gave the gong an ear-shattering pound, and stepped back. The three stood looking at one each other for a moment. Suddenly, someone on the other side of the wall screamed, "You asshole... it's three-fifteen in the morning!" -----
A young courting couple are out for a romantic walk along a leafy country lane. They walk hand in hand and, as they stroll, the young man's lustful desire rises to a peak. He is just about to get frisky when the young woman says, "I hope you don't mind, but I really do need to have a piss".
Slightly taken aback by this vulgarity, he suggests she go behind a hedge. She nods in agreement and disappears behind the hedge. As he waits, he can hear the sound of the white panties sliding down voluptuous legs and he imagines what loveliness is being exposed.
Unable to contain his animal thoughts a moment longer, he reaches through a gap in the foliage, touches her smooth, bare leg. He gently brings his hand further up to her thigh until suddenly, and with great astonishment, he finds himself gripping a long, thick appendage hanging between her legs.
He gasps in horror "My God Mary have you changed your sex?" "No" she replies "I've changed my mind - I'm having a poo instead."
poza 1. dj sadam - in za haus
maslina 51 we are back in business.... – poza de connoisseur, in Maslina saptamanala · 33.2KB
