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whazzzzz up people?
in afar de faptul ca poate ninje vichendu asta si apuc si io sa fac neste drifturi cu masinutza prin oras....poate apuc sa ma filmez....si sa va dau pe spate cu capacitatile mele de sofer....
daca stau sa ma gandesc saptamana asta o trecut relativ repede....dar urmeaza vichendu si poate asta trece mai greu desi ma indoiesc....deoarece iara ma duc la scoli 
pana nu uit....mereti sa vedeti lost city.....cel mai miezoo film de anul asta pana amu....impresionant de a dreptu....
si ce sa va mai spun?
noroc si voie buna....frig si ninsoare.....
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A man goes to the confessional and says, "Forgive me Father, for I have sinned." "What is your sin, my child?" The Priest asks.
"Well," the man starts, "I used the 'F'-word today and I feel so terrible." "Why don't you tell me what happened. What made you use such awful language?" asked the Priest.
"Well, I was out golfing and I hit this incredible drive that looked like it was going to go over 250 yards, but the ball hit a phone line hanging over the fairway and fell straight down to the ground after going about 100 yards."
"I'm a golfer myself my son" said the Priest "I understand what you were feeling. So this is when you swore?" "No Father," said the man, "You see, after that a squirrel ran out of the bushes and grabbed my ball in his mouth and began to run away."
"And this is when you swore?" asked the Father again. "No not yet. Just as the squirrel was running away, this eagle came down out of the sky and grabbed the squirrel in his talons and began to fly away!"
"And it was then that you swore?" asked the amazed Priest. "No, not yet," replied the man, "Just as the eagle was flying away with the squirrel he flew towards a wooded area next to the green. And as he passed over it, the squirrel dropped my ball."
"Did you swear then, my son?" asked the now impatient Priest. "No, because as the ball fell it struck a tree, bounced through some bushes, careened off a big rock, and then rolled through a sand trap and on to the green and stopped dead six inches from the hole!" told the man. The priest sighed, "You missed the fucking putt, didn't you!!?"
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A man walked into a bar, sat down at the far end and had a drink. He noticed there was a horse in the back of the bar room with a big pot of money on the floor in front of it.
"What's up with that?" He asked the bartender, pointing at the horse.
"You gotta put a dollar in the pot," explained the bartender,"if you can make the horse laugh, you collect the pot."
The man walked over to the horse, dropped a dollar into the pot, and whispered into it's ear. The horse cracked up, fell over, and rolled on the floor in laughter. So the man picked up the pot and walked out.
Five years later the same man came into the bar, and saw the same horse, with another big pot of money in front of it. The bartender recognised the man and noticed him looking at the horse in anticipation. "It's not so easy now... this time you gotta make him cry." he said.
The man walked over to the horse and whispered in its ear, and from behind, in the shadows, appeared to pull something out of his pocket and showed the horse. The horse fell to its knees sobbing as though its heart was breaking. The man picked up the pot and was walking out the door when the bartender stopped him.
"Hey! At least you can tell us what you told him!" "Easy," said the man. "The last time, I told him my thingy is bigger than his. This time I showed him.
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filmuletul 1. cum sa distrugi mustangu lu tata
http://grab.orsm.net/php/movies.php?fil ... ustang.wmv
filmuletul 2. adrenalina....
http://grab.orsm.net/php/movies.php?fil ... secall.wmv
filmuletul 3. politist lovit de masina....
http://grab.orsm.net/php/movies.php?fil ... unover.wmv
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One day, in line at the works cafeteria, Jack says to Mike behind him, "My elbow hurts like hell. I suppose I'd better see a doctor." "Listen, don't waste your time down at the surgery," Mike replies. "There's a diagnostic computer at the pharmacy. Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you what's wrong, and what to do about it. It takes ten seconds and only costs five bucks... a lot quicker and better than a doctor!".
So Jack collects a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to the pharmacy. He deposits his five dollars and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits. Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout: "You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks".
That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Jack began wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and masturbated into the mixture for good measure.
Jack hurried back to the pharmacy, eager to check what would happen. He deposits the money, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results. Seconds later the computer springs to life and prints out the following:
1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener.
2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.
3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
5. And if you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better!
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asta una ii pt filologi....
- We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes; but the plural of ox becomes oxen not oxes.
- One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese, yet the plural of moose should never be meese.
- You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice; yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.
- If the plural of man is always called men, why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?
- If I spoke of my foot and show you my feet, and I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet?
- If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth, why shouldn't the plural of booth be called beeth?
- Then one may be that, and three would be those, yet hat in the plural would never be hose, and the plural of cat is cats, not cose.
- We speak of a brother and also of brethren, but though we say mother, we never say methren.
- Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him, but imagine the feminine, she, shis and shim.
- Let's face! it! - English is a crazy language.
- There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple.
- English muffins weren't invented in England. We take English for granted.
- But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
- And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?
- Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend?
- If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?
- If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?
- If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
- Sometimes I think all the folks who grew up speaking English should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane.
- In what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?
- Ship by truck and send cargo by ship?
- Have noses that run and feet that smell?
- How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?
- You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm goes off by going on.
- If Dad is Pop, how's come Mom isn't Mop?
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The General Managers of Ursus, Bergenbier, Ciuc, Tuborg and Burger were at a national beer conference.
They decide to all go to lunch together and the waitress asks what they want to drink.
The General Manager of Bergenbier says without hesitation "I'll have An Bergenbier"
The General Manager of Ciuc smiles and says "I'll have a Ciuc brewed from pure mountain water!"
The General Manager of Ursus proudly says "I'll have a Ursus, the King of Beers!"
The bloke from Tuborg says "I'll have a Tuborg, the cleanest Beer on the planet"
The General Manager from Burger glances at his lunch mates and says, "I'll have a Diet Coke."
The others look at him like he has sprouted a new head. He just shrugs and says, "Well if you blokes aren't drinking beer, then neither will I."
poza 1. animalutze....
42.1KB
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"me - we" (Muhammad Ali)
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