Colectia de poze viktornagual.3xforum.ro
Total 114 poze.

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poza 3. not really funny maslina - 45 - calatorulpoza 3. not really funny
08.09.200629.1KB
mie imi pika foarte bine cate`o seaa de genutl lounge, mai ales ca e oradea, i mean c`mon, cand semie imi pika foarte bine cate`o seaa de genutl lounge, mai ales ca e Oradea, i mean c`mon, cand se intampla ceva in orashu asta? never ... seara de duminica de lounge e binevenita pt multi.. daca ar sti ce sa faca cu ea domnu dubash, ar fi mult mai frumos .. ca prea pliktisit vine si pune muzici care nici nu`s musai lounge ... dar oricum e loc pt inflorituri la lounge, dar macar sa fie prin apropierea stilului ... ca a fost amus` o editie, ca a pus pikniker ala rap curat si rockareli si tot felu de kestii care n`au nici un fâs cu lounge`ul ... cred ca raman la dupa-mesele de joi si marti , in chanson, ca e un individ mai plinutz,barman , care de dimineatza pana pe la 7, nu pune numa bestest quality lounge ... god bless domnu barman din chanson ... io mi-am gasit loc`shoru` ... so .. faca dubash ce`o vrea ... e admirabil da nu stie ce sa faca cu seara asta care i s`o dat ...
05.10.20067.9KB
poza 2 - we see they see maslina nr. 13 - in 2006 back to workpoza 2 - we see they see
24.07.200661.7KB
poza 5. noah vreau sa imi vina si mie acasa amenda din asta, sa merg la blaga si sa i-o bag pe gatpoza 5. noah vreau sa imi vina si mie acasa amenda din asta, sa merg la blaga si sa i-o bag pe gat
24.07.200625.8KB

 
poza 7. peacefull maslina 50 oooooo happy days!!!poza 7. peacefull demonstration
15.10.200629.9KB
greetings inceput sa numarati racit dramatic vremea si se pare ca vom avea o toamna putin asa o staugreetings earthlings! ati inceput sa numarati bobocii? s-o racit dramatic vremea si se pare ca vom avea o toamna umeda....cel putin asa o inceput.... daca stau sa ma gandesc...o trecut o vara destl de calma...o fost si cald dar nu pe perioade foarte lungi....sau ma insel? ca nu imi mai aduc aminte... nu prea am mare suflu pt ca or pierdut americanii cu grecii in semifinale la campionatul mondial de baschet si imi vine sa ma dau cu capu de pereti... asa ca ii dam drumu ca sa nu va mai retin cu depresiile mele.... --------- Friday 1st September is the official Slap Your Irritating Co-workers day: Do you have a co-worker who talks non-stop about nothing, working your last nerve with tedious and boring details that you don't care about? Do you have a co-worker who ALWAYS screws up stuff creating MORE work for you? Do you have a co-worker who is SOOO obnoxious, when he/she enters a room, everyone else clears it? Well, I am so very glad to officially announce Friday 1st September as SLAP YOUR IRRITATING CO-WORKER DAY! Here are the rules you must follow: * You can only slap one person per hour - no more. * You can slap the same person again if they irritate you again in the same day. * You are allowed to hold someone down as other co-workers take their turns slapping the irritant. * No weapons are allowed...other than going upside somebody's head with a stapler or a hole-puncher. If questioned by a supervisor, you are allowed to LIE, LIE, LIE! Now, study the rules, break out your list of folks that you want to slap the living day lights out of, and get to slapping... and have a great day! --------- In school one day the teacher decided in science class she would teach about materials. So she stood in the front of the class and said, "Children, if you could have one raw material in the world what would it be?" Little Richie raised his hand and said "I would want gold, because gold is worth a lot of money and I could buy a Porsche." The teacher nodded and called on little Susie. Little Susie said "I would want platinum because platinum is worth more than gold and I could buy a Corvette." The teacher smiled and then called on Little Johnny. Little Johnny stood up and said, "I would want silicone." The teacher said, "Why Johnny?" He responded by saying, "Because my mom has two bags of it and you should see all the sports cars outside our house!!" -------- There once was this white fella who was feeling lonely because his wife-to-be, Wanda, was on vacation. He wanted to do something for her that would both impress her as well as proclaim his undying ever-enduring love for her. After much contemplation he thought what better way than to have her name, "Wanda," actually tattooed onto his body. Further consideration of his idea resulted in his deciding to have her name tattooed right onto his penis. So he went to a tattoo parlour and had it done immediately. Well, because of the nature of the terrain, the tattoo usually said, "WA." But he knew she would be surprised and delighted to see her whole name on his penis once it became erect. He could hardly wait for her return. The scabs wore off just in time too, as she was due home from her vacation. He went to meet her at the airport, beaming to himself as he imagined her pleasure at discovering his surprise. He could hardly even contain himself. While he was waiting for her plane, he went into the washroom to have a pee. He marched right up the urinal next to a tall black fella who was just shaking it off. The white fella looks down and says, "Hey wow!!! You've got a "WA" on your penis too! What a coincidence!" The black fella looks at him. "I just had mine done - it really says 'Wanda,'" beamed the white fella, "What does yours say?" The black fella looks down at him, gives a big wide smile and says, "Well mine says, 'WELCOME TO BEAUTIFUL JAMAICA'".... -------- filmuletzul 1. david chapelle despre internet filmuletzul 2. girls do fart ------- In the dark and gloomy room, gazing at the Tarot cards laid out before her, the fortune teller delivered the bad news. "There is no easy way to tell you this so I'll just be blunt. Prepare yourself to be a widow. Your husband will die a quick, violent and horrible death this year." Visibly shaken, the woman stared at the Tarot cards, the psychic's lined face, then at the single flickering candle, then down at her trembling hands. She took a few deep breaths to try to compose herself. She simply had to know. She met the fortune teller's gaze, steadied her voice and asked: "Will I get away with it???" ---------- A chicken goes in to a library, jumps on to the counter and goes "book, book, book, book... book, book, book, book". The librarian looks at the chicken and says "what?" The chicken say "book, book, book, book... book, book, book, book" So the librarian hands the chicken a book and the chicken leaves. 10 minutes later the chicken is back, jumps on to the counter and goes "book, book, book, book... book, book, book, book". The librarian thinks 'he must be a speed reader' and gives the chicken another book and the chicken leaves. 10 minutes later the chicken is back again, jumps on to the counter and goes "book, book, book, book... book, book, book, book". The librarian couldn't believe it but gives the chicken another book and the chicken leaves. The librarian's curiosity got the better of her and she follows the chicken. She follows the chicken down to the local pond, where there's a big bullfrog. The chicken goes up to the bullfrog, holds up the book and says "book, book, book, book... book, book, book, book". The bullfrog looks at it at says "redit, redit, redit". ----- poza 1. ok...bravo...si amu?
01.09.200627.1KB
poza 4. pozitive proof of global warming maslina 48 - is obosit rau de totpoza 4. pozitive proof of global warming
06.10.200641.7KB
noah servus am mai vrut sa fac maslina inainte de meci ca data trecuta m-am facut de o fost aleanoah servus popor!!! nu am mai vrut sa fac maslina inainte de meci ca data trecuta m-am facut de ras... meciu o fost frumos....spectacol alea alea...si am crezut ca totul va fi frumos si cozy....dar evident ca fanii rapidului nu s-or putu abtine si or aruncat cu tot felu din tribuna... noah n-are nika...sa speram ca observatorul nu o vazut nika... sapt trecuta nu s-or intamplat multe....poate doar vania miercuri in lords...adimii stiu de ce!?!?! ;) asa ca sa ii dam bataie: exemple pentru care ii iubim pe americani....they are special IDIOTS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD: I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbour call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road. The reason: "Too many deer were being hit by cars." and he didn't want them to cross there anymore. IDIOT SIGHTING: I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?" To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?" He smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we ask." IDIOT SIGHTING: The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine when she asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, "What on earth are blind people doing driving?!" IDIOT SIGHTING: At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker who was leaving the company due to "downsizing," our manager commented cheerfully, "This is fun. We should do this more often." Not a word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare. IDIOT SIGHTING: When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver's side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. "Hey," I announced to the technician, "it's open!" To which he replied, "I know - I already got that side." filmuletzul 1 get your tongue out of my food... filmuletzul 2 is miezu pompierii astia la ce le umbla mintea A man went to the dental surgeon to have a tooth pulled. The dentist pulls out a freezing needle to give him. "No way and no needles. I hate needles!" the patient says. The dentist starts to hook up the laughing gas and the man again objects. "I can't do the gas thing - the thought of having the gas mask on is suffocating to me!" The dentist then asks if the man has any objection to taking a pill. "No," the patient says, "I am fine with pills". The dentist then returns and says, "Here is a Viagra tablet." The patient says, "Wow - I didn't know Viagra worked as a pain killer!" "It doesn't," says the dentist "but it will give you something to hold onto when I pull out your tooth!" ---------- A successful businessman flew to Vegas for the weekend to gamble. He lost the shirt off his back, and had nothing left but a quarter and the second half of his round trip ticket. If he could just get to the airport he could get himself home. So he went out to the front of the casino where here was a cab waiting. He got in and explained his situation to the cabbie. He promised to send the driver money from home, he offered him his credit card numbers, his drivers license number, his address, etc. but to no avail. The cabbie said, "If you don't have fifteen dollars, get the hell out of my cab!". So the businessman was forced to hitchhike to the airport and was barely in time to catch his flight. One year later the businessman, having worked long and hard to regain his financial success, returned to Vegas and this time he won big. Feeling pretty good about himself, he went out to the front of the casino to get a cab ride back to the airport. Well who should he see out there, at the end of a long line of cabs, but his old buddy who had refused to give him a ride when he was down on his luck. The businessman thought for a moment about how he could make the guy pay for his lack of charity, and he hit on a plan. The businessman got in the first cab in the line, "How much for a ride to the airport," he asked? "Fifteen bucks." replied the cab driver. He then said, "And how much for you to suck my dick on the way?" "What?! Get the fuck out of my cab, you scum!" the cab driver said angrily. The businessman got into the back of each cab in the long line and asked the same questions, with the same result - getting kicked out of each taxi. When he got to his old friend at the back of the line, he got in and asked "How much for a ride to the airport?" The cabbie replied, "Fifteen bucks." The businessman said "Okay." and off they went. Then, as they drove slowly past the long line of cabs the businessman gave a big smile and thumbs up sign to each driver. poza 1. coca cola in afghanistan
24.07.200632.2KB

 
dharma creative 17 noiembrie @ & bully (techno dnb & jump up) (you got to see snow ( first class dnbDharma Creative prezinta... Vineri 17 Noiembrie @ Eclipse KidlazY & Bully (Techno dnb & Jump Up) (you got to see this!!!)ofDARKE*ST Snow ( FIRST CLASS DNB ) Cluj Mc Tina ( Voice & Vibes ) TM Dudu ( FIRST CLASS DNB ) of AnonimTM VRT (Atmospheric & Liquid dnb ) si acum ca avem DreamTeam ul o sa avem si o multime de surprize, dar despre asta mai incolo :wink: :!: Despre Eclipse (fostul Space) vreau sa subliniez ca este dotat cu o sonorizare IMPECABILA de 13.000W :!: Si cu totii ne-am saturat de fumul de la petreceri de nu mai poti sa respiri sau cand nu mai poti sa stai inauntru ca nu este aer nu? Va promit ca aici nu o sa fie cazul !! :!: Clubul este dotat cu un sistem de ultima generatie care poate sa faca fata fara probleme si la peste 400 de oamenii Fructe dimineata pentru toata lumea, dar deja stiti asta nu? :lol: More info to come :arrow: PPL Let`s PARTY
05.11.200637.2KB
poza 3. women drivers??? maslina 41 - rain rain rain....poza 3. women drivers???
04.08.200639.8KB
poza 3. amazing maslina 53....vine iarna bine mi pare.....poza 3. amazing constructions....
10.11.200626.4KB
poza 3 - the funny clown maslina - episodul 3 - sa speram ca nu ultimulpoza 3 - the funny clown
24.07.200653KB

 
download una din versiuline snow.exe ... lasat in taskbar, iti umple monitoru de niaua ... sedownload una din versiuline snow.exe ... lasat in taskbar, iti umple monitoru de NIAUA ... se depune atat cat o lasi sa se aseze ... se depune pe poze, pe icoane, pe taskbar, start button, tot ce vede mai denivelat ... daca tot e sa fim in pragul sarbatorilor de craciun , si nu tot impu ninge cum am vrea, e un gadget dragutz sa va aduca zambete si sa va minunatzi placut :) link de pliktiseala si linisteala ... enjoy :) i do every year deja de 5 ani :D snow download ps: nu trebuie instalat, doar played. se opreste cand ii dai exit ca la o pagina normala ..
01.08.200643.9KB
poza 2. maslina - the early days.... maslina 50 oooooo happy days!!!poza 2. maslina saptamanala - the early days....
15.10.200620.5KB
bun venit si la multi ani maslina primul rand trebuie sa spun ca nu imi vine sa cred ca am fost inBun venit si La Multi Ani Maslina Saptamanala! In primul rand trebuie sa spun ca nu imi vine sa cred ca am fost in stare sa ma tin de treaba 1 an de zile….aproape fara sa pierd mare lucru….adica in mod normal ar trebui sa apara maslina 56 dar…..si 50 e bine…sau nu? 50 de bucati – un an de zile…. va dati seama?!?!?! That’s a lifetime!!!! Desi ar trebui sa fac o retrospectiva a lucrurilor pe care vi le-am oferit in anul ce a trecut si sa le caut poate pe cele mai bune…..eu sunt smecher si vin cu o jumbo maslina!!! Asa ca in loc sa va multumesc pentru faptul ca saptamana de saptamana va stresati si intrati sa cititi maslina…..eu sper sa va fac din nou sa zambiti!!!! Enjoy!!! An old lady was standing at the railing of the cruise ship holding her hat on tightly so that it would not blow off in the wind. A gentleman approached her and said: "Pardon me, madam. I do not intend to be forward, but did you know that your dress is blowing up in this high wind?" "Yes, I know," said the lady, "I need both hands to hold onto this hat." "But, madam, you must know that your privates are exposed!" said the gentleman in earnest. The woman looked down, then back up at the man and replied, "Sir, anything you see down there is 85 years old. I just bought this hat yesterday!" ----------- A man and his wife are awakened at 3 o'clock in the morning by a loud pounding on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push. "Not a chance," says the husband, "It is three o'clock in the morning!" He slams the door and returns to bed. Who was that?" asked his wife. "Just some drunk guy asking for a push," he answers. "Did you help him?" she asks. "No, I did not. It is three in the morning and it is pouring out!" says the husband. "Well, you have a short memory," says his wife. "Can't you remember about three months ago when we broke down and those two guys helped us? I think you should help him, and you should be ashamed of yourself!" The man agrees, gets dressed, and goes out into the pounding rain. He calls out into the dark, "Hello, are you still there?" "Yes," comes back the answer. "Do you still need a push?" calls out the husband. "Yes, please!" comes the reply from the dark. "Where are you?" asks the husband. "Over here... on the swing!" replied the drunk. 51 THINGS GIRLS WANT GUYS TO KNOW 1. Saying "I love you" immediately before, during, or following sex doesn't count. 2. Real men drive stick shift. 3. I will leave if you lie. 4. You are cute in raglan-sleeved T-shirts (two-toned baseball undershirts). 5. I'm convinced I'm pregnant and obsess about it for a minimum of 24 to 48 hours before my period, even when I have no rational reason to think so. 6. I love it when you hug me from behind and whisper in my ear. 7. "Fine" is never an appropriate response when I ask you how I look. 8. Most of the time when I fantasize, it's about you. 9. I'm terrified of becoming my mother, even though I admire her. 10. I get turned on simply seeing that I have an e-mail from you. 11. I expect you to call me. 12. Only rock stars are allowed to wear leather pants. 13. I'm scared of losing my independence. 14. I'm more forgiving of you than I really should be. 15. Oral sex is your get-out-of-the-doghouse-free card. Expensive shoes also do the trick. 16. You did something bad. I seem cool with it. I'm not. (See directly above.) 17. If I'm not having sex with you, I'm: a). having a fat day. b). not feeling "connected" to you. c). blackmailing you to get something I want. 18. Shoes determine whether you're fashionable or not. 19. I own a ASIA CD, and I'm not afraid to use it. 20. When I compare my flabby tummy to a kangaroo pouch, say nothing. 21. A man I love plans the occasional fancy-schmancy dress-up date and impromptu weekend getaways, and he buys my favorite candy in advance when we're just going to the movies. 22. You look hot in hooded clothing items. 23. You should never tell me what to do. 24. If I slept over, you owe me breakfast. 25. My breasts love much licking and sucking. 26. If you ask me out directly, I will say yes. 27. I'm very impressed when you ask for my advice. 28. I'm unimpressed with a man who doesn't take the lead. 29. When in doubt, go with the shirt that matches your eye color. 30. I want to be Madonna. 31. Women get urinary-tract infections easily, so watch (and wash) your fingers. 32. I'm in heaven when you hold my hand. 33. You're sexy when you're shaving, fixing things, wearing a white T-shirt and jeans, driving, eating a peach, holding a baby. 34. I need to hear how you feel about me. Often. Tell me now. 35. Surprises, especially gifts for moi = more loving. 36. I want to be the best thing that ever happened to you - and for you to recognise this. 37. If I'm not feeling loved, I will start looking.... 38. Discussion of ex-gf's and ex-bf's should be avoided at all times. 39. I like it when you tell me what you're thinking, even if you don't know yourself. 40. Celebrating our anniversary, even if it's only been a few months, earns major bonus points. 41. I love it when you're sweaty. 42. It's best to consult your gal pals for gift ideas. 43. A lady should always be greeted with kisses. 44. I like porn. 45. I'll always love Maslina Saptamanala more. That's just the way it is. Sorry. Deal with it. 46. I love holding your buns in the palms of my hands. 47. Even nice girls like hushed dirty talk in public. 48. It's cheating as soon as you're doing something with her that you wouldn't want me to see, hear, read... 49. For the record: I'd rather you break up with me than cheat. 50. I remember everything about our relationship. 51. You should know all this and more with-out my telling you. ------------ filmuletul 1 cel mai tare tobosar filmuletul 2 the guy has speed filmuletul 3 asta si-o pierdut mintile -------------- How to POO at work Weve all been there but dont like to admit it. Weve all kicked back in our cubicles and suddenly felt something brewing down below. As much as we try to convince ourselves otherwise, the WORK POO is inevitable. For those who hate pooing at work, following is the Survival Guide for taking a dump at work. CROP DUSTING When farting, you walk briskly around the office so the smell is not in your area and everyone else gets a whiff but doesnt know where it came from. Be careful when you do this. Do not stop until the full fart has been expelled. Walk an extra 30 feet to make sure the smell has left your pants. FLY BY The act of scouting out a bathroom before pooing. Walk in and check for other pooers. If there are others in the bathroom, leave and come back again. Be careful not to become a FREQUENT FLYER. People may become suspicious if they catch you constantly going into the bathroom. ESCAPEE A fart that slips out while taking a leak at the urinal or forcing a poop in a stall. This is usually accompanied by a sudden wave of embarrassment. If you release an escapee, do not acknowledge it. Pretend it did not happen. If you are standing next to the farter in the urinal, pretend you did not hear it. No one likes an escapee. It is uncomfortable for all involved. Making a joke or laughing makes both parties feel uneasy. JAILBREAK When forcing a poo, several farts slip out at a machine gun pace. This is usually a side effect of diarrhea or a hangover. If this should happen, do not panic. Remain in the stall until everyone has left the bathroom to spare everyone the awkwardness of what just occurred. COURTESY FLUSH The act of flushing the toilet the instant the poo hits the water. This reduces the amount of air time the poo has to stink up the bathroom. This can help you avoid being caught doing the WALK OF SHAME. WALK OF SHAME Walking from the stall, to the sink, to the door after you have just stunk up the bathroom. This can be a very uncomfortable moment if someone walks in and busts you. As with farts, it is best to pretend that the smell does not exist. Can be avoided with the use of the COURTESY FLUSH. OUT OF THE CLOSET POOER A colleague who poos at work and is damn proud of it. You will often see an Out Of The Closet Pooer enter the bathroom with a newspaper or magazine under his or her arm. Always look around the office for the Out Of The Closet Pooer before entering the bathroom. THE POOING FRIENDS NETWORK (P.F.N) A group of co-workers who band together to ensure emergency pooing goes off without incident. This group can help you to monitor the whereabouts of Out Of The Closet Pooers, and identify SAFE HAVENS. SAFE HAVENS A seldom used bathroom somewhere in the building where you can least expect visitors. Try floors that are predominantly of the opposite sex. This will reduce the odds of a pooer of your sex entering the bathroom. TURD BURGLAR Someone who does not realize that you are in the stall and tries to force the door open. This is one of the most shocking and vulnerable moments that can occur when taking a poo at work. If this occurs, remain in the stall until the Turd Burglar leaves. This way you will avoid all uncomfortable eye contact. CAMO-COUGH A phony cough that alerts all new entrants into the bathroom that you are in a stall. This can be used to cover-up a WATERMELON, or to alert potential Turd Burglars. Very effective when used in conjunction with an ASTAIRE. ASTAIRE A subtle toe-tap that is used to alert potential Turd Burglars that you are occupying a stall. This will remove all doubt that the stall is occupied. If you hear an Astaire , leave the bathroom immediately so the pooer can poo in peace. WATERMELON A poo that creates a loud splash when hitting the toilet water. This is also an embarrassing incident. If you feel a Watermelon coming on, create a diversion. See CAMO-COUGH. HAVANA OMELET A case of diarrhea that creates series of loud splashes in the toilet water. Often accompanied by an Escapee. Try using Camo-Cough with an Astaire. UNCLE TED A bathroom user who seems to linger around forever. Could spend extended lengths of time in front of the mirror or sitting on the pot. An Uncle Ted makes it difficult to relax while on the crapper, as you should always wait to poo when the bathroom is empty. This benefits you as well as the other bathroom attendees. ----------------- A man is sitting in a plane which is about to take off when another man with a dog occupies the empty seats alongside. The dog takes the middle seat, and his handler explains that they work for the airline. "Dont mind Rover," the handler says, "he is a sniffer dog, the best there is. Ill show you once we get airborne and I set him to work." The plane takes off and levels out when the handler says to the first man, "Watch this." He tells the dog, "Rover, search" The dog jumps down, walks along the aisle and sits next to a woman for a few seconds. It then returns to its seat and puts one paw on the handlers arm. He says, "Good boy" He turns to the first man and says, "That woman is in possession of marijuana, so Im making a note of this, and the seat number, for the police who will apprehend her on arrival." "Fantastic" replies the first man. Once again he sends the dog to search the aisles. The dog sniffs about, sits down beside a man for a few seconds, returns to its seat and places both paws on the handlers arm. The handler says, "That man is carrying cocaine, so again, Im making a note of this, and the seat number." "Wow" says the first man. Once again, the handler sends the dog to search the aisles. Rover goes up and down the plane aisle and after a while sits down next to someone, and then comes racing back, jumps up onto the seat, and craps all over the place The first man is surprised and disgusted by this, and asks, "What the heck was THAT for???" The handler replies, "Looks like he found a bomb." poza 1. cat smileys
15.10.200659.8KB
poza 2. punk rat maslina - 45 - calatorulpoza 2. punk rat
08.09.200653.9KB

 
poza 3. how the hell? maslina 48 - is obosit rau de totpoza 3. how the hell?
06.10.200614.4KB
poza 4. nou driver: cat - rom maslina 44 vine toamna?poza 4. nou driver: cat - rom
01.09.200631.6KB
:hi: 30-04-2006 ~ freedom of music | open air fest @ suncuius:hi:
24.07.200613.9KB
poza 4. eco maslina 52 muhahaha za vintar iz camin'poza 4. eco transport.....
04.11.200649.6KB

 
ce mai pot io spune amu? daca tot ati ajuns unde trebe, sit back and enjoy! nu prea mult blog saptce mai pot io spune amu? daca tot ati ajuns unde trebe, sit back and enjoy! nu prea mult blog sapt asta ca nu am vreme, nervi si rabdare. am ramas surprins sa vad destul de multa lume miercuri la IvsL, in ciuda tuturor "problemelor", iar joi am fost din nou. de data asta pentru muzici de muzici: jazz, rock si honky tonk. noah nu mai spun ca o sunat mirific si am ramas placut impresionat. cam atat ca mi-i somn si ramane pe sapt viitoare... A commercial traveller was driving through the Scottish Highlands when his car broke down. There was a cottage near by so he went up to it and knocked on the door. The door opened to reveal a burly Highlander. "My car has broken down," said the traveller, "Do you know where I can spend the night?" "Why, right here of course!" said the Scot, "Come in and avail yourself of our world famous hospitality." The traveller duly entered the humble but cosy residence. "Jeannie," shouted the host in the direction of the kitchen, and in response to his call his beautiful daughter appeared. "Jeannie, make a meal for the gentleman and remember to uphold our great tradition of Highland hospitality." The traveller was soon tucking into an appetising meal; the girl had indeed spared no effort to extend Highland hospitality to the quest. "And now," said the Highlander, "I'm afraid I must go out and milk the cows, but just make yourself at home and take full advantage of our world famous Highland hospitality." No sooner had the door closed behind him than the traveller set about seducing the lovely daughter. In no time at all he had her on the floor and was on the job. Suddenly the door opened and there stood the Highlander. He took one look at what was going on and his face turned purple with rage. He dropped his two buckets of milk with a crash and gave verbal vent to his wrath. "After all I have been saying about the Highland hospitality," he roared, "Arch your back, woman, and take the poor man's balls off the cold floor!" ---- One beautiful December evening Huan Cho and his girlfriend Jung Lee were sitting by the side of the ocean. It was a romantic full moon, when Huan Cho said "Hey baby, how about playing weweechu." "Oh no, not now, let's look at the moon " said Jung Lee. "Oh, c'mon baby, let's you and I play weeweechu. I love you and it's the perfect time." Huan Cho begged. "But I rather just hold your hand and watch the moon." "Please, Jung Lee, just once play weeweechu with me." Jung Lee looked at Huan Chi and said "Ok, we'll play weeweechu." Huan Cho grabbed his guitar and both sang... "Weeweechu a melly Chlistmas, Weeweechu a melly Chlistmas, weeweechu a melly Chlistmas and a happy New Year." filmuletzul nr 1 chinez cu YoYo filmuletzul nr 2 The Dean of an all-women Christian college was lecturing her students on sexual morality. "In moments of temptation," said the speaker to the class, "ask yourself just one question: Is an hour of pleasure worth a lifetime of shame?" A somewhat less-than-virginal-looking student in the back of the room rose to ask a question of her own: "How do you make it last an hour?" A 70 year old man goes to his doctor and asks him for a quarter of a Viagra. "Do you not think a man of your age will need a whole one John'? asks the doctor. "I only want to get him out far enough to stop me peeing on my shoes" replies John. poza 1 garajul meu!!!
24.07.200639.6KB
poza 4. care e maslina 41 - rain rain rain....poza 4. care e shpionu????
04.08.200614.5KB
poza 2. inca una.... maslina 52 muhahaha za vintar iz camin'poza 2. inca una....
04.11.200650.1KB
sper ca incepand de azi sa ma tina balamalele si sa il tina si pe asta micu circuitele si sa vasper ca incepand de azi sa ma tina balamalele si sa il tina si pe asta micu circuitele si sa va aducem in fiece saptamana o maslina si o duda Saptamana care o trecut o fost crazy cu C. vineri o fost rhadoo (mai bine statea acasa la el acolo in ibiza sau pe unde haladuieste amu) si ne lasa sa dormim. Apoi sambata - nunta - hmmmm. No comment. apoi munca munca si iar munca, iar miercuri - Industry vs Lord's - sa mai zic ceva sau am cam zis tot?!?!!?...a...cred ca nu noah ma rog ...asteptam vichendu ce sta sa vina!!! pana sapt viitoare - enjoy A man and a woman were driving down the road and arguing about his deplorable infidelity when suddenly the woman reaches over and slices the man's penis off. Angrily, she tosses it out the car window. Driving behind the couple is a man and his 9-year-old daughter. The little girl is just chatting away at her father when all of a sudden the penis smacks the car on the windshield, sticks for a moment, then flies off. Surprised, the daughter asks her father, "Daddy, what the heck was that?" Not wanting to expose his little girl to anything sexual at such a young age, the father replies, "It was only a bug, honey." The daughter sits with a confused look on her face, and after a few minutes she says "Sure had a big dick, didn't it?" It's magic !!! A bloke goes into a pub, and the barmaid asks what he wants. "I want to bury my face in your cleavage and lick the sweat from between your tits" he says. "You dirty git!" shouts the barmaid. "Get out before I get my husband!" The bloke apologises and promises not to repeat his gaffe. The barmaid accepts this and asks him again what he wants. "I want to pull your pants down, spread yoghurt between the cheeks of your arse and lick it all off," he says. "You dirty filthy pervert! You're barred. Get out!!" she storms. Again, the bloke apologises and swears never ever to do it again. "Okay, one more chance' says the barmaid. "Now - what do you want?" "I want to turn you upside down, open your legs and fill your pussy with Guinness, and then drink every last drop from the hairy cup." The barmaid is furious at this personal intrusion, and runs upstairs to fetch her husband, who's sitting quietly watching the TV. "What's the matter, love?" he asks. "There's a bloke in the bar who wants to put his head between my tits and lick the sweat off," she says. "I'll kill him! Where is he?" rages the husband. "Then he said he wanted to pour yoghurt down between my arse cheeks and lick it off," she yells. "Right. He's dead!" says the husband, standing up and reaching for a baseball bat. "Then he said he wanted to turn me upside down, fill my pussy with Guinness and then drink it all," she screams. The husband puts down his bat and returns to his armchair, and switches the television back on. "Aren't you going to do something about it?" she cries hysterically. "Look, love. I'm sorry, but I'm not messing with someone who can drink 15 bottles of Guinness."
24.07.200651.9KB

 
sanatate stimati primul rand vreau sa va anunt ca duminica are loc serbarea unui an de ca toti faniisanatate stimati concetateni! in primul rand vreau sa va anunt ca duminica are loc serbarea unui an de masline...asa ca toti fanii sunt asteptati fizic sau in spirit in clubu manga dupa 9....se vor servi evient....masline..... muzica sa speram ca va fi oferita de surioara bombonica....:) noah cam atat despre elementele oficiale... in rest ma dispera psihic premaru' cu serbarile lui si cu aglomeratia din oras.... nu vreau sa incep ca daca ma starnesc dupa aia cititi vreo 2 ceasuri numa din alea...la sentiment despre famili, colegii , nasii, finii, etc ale lu nea primaru' noah sa ii dam drumul Two blokes staggered into the pub, dragging their extremely pissed mate with them. When they reached the bar, they let him go and he collapsed in a drunken heap on the floor. "I'll have two beers," one of them slurred to the bartender. "What about him?" asked the barkeep, pointing to the unconscious chap. "No more for him - he's driving," the patron answered. -- A "heads up" for you and any of your friends who may be regular Bunnings customers. Over the last month I became the victim of a clever scam whilst out shopping. Simply going out to get hardware supplies has turned out to be quite traumatic. Don't be naive enough to think it couldn't happen to you. Here's how the scam works: Two seriously good looking 18 or 19 year old girls come over to your car as you are loading your stuff into the car. They both start wiping your windshield with a rag and Windex, with their breasts almost falling out of their skimpy T-shirts. It is impossible not to look. When you thank them and offer them a tip, they say "No" and instead ask you for a ride to another Bunnings. You agree and they get in the back seat. On the way, they start having sex with each other. Then one of them climbs over into the front seat and performs oral sex on you, while the other one steals your wallet. I had my wallet stolen September 4th, 9th, 10th, twice on the 15th, 17th, 20th, three times just yesterday, and very likely again this upcoming weekend as soon as I can buy some more wallets. ---------- filmuletul 1 ce inseamna 700 de cai putere (io am 45 din care 15 is bolnavi) filmuletul 2 o uitat frana de mana.....incredibil ca nu ii femeie...dar ii politist asa ca... A man staggered into a hospital with a concussion, multiple bruises, two black eyes, and a five iron wrapped tightly around his throat. Naturally, the Doctor asked him, "What happened to you?" "Well, I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife when, at a difficult hole, we both sliced our balls into a cow pasture. We went to look for them, and while I was looking around I noticed one of the cows had something white at its rear end. I walked over, lifted its tail, and sure enough, there was a golf ball with my wife's monogram on it, stuck right in the middle of the cow's ass." "Still holding the cow's tail up, I yelled to my wife, 'Hey, this looks like yours! I don't remember much after that.'" ---------- A woman meets a man in a bar. They talk; they connect; they end up leaving together. They get back to his place, and as he shows her around his apartment, she notices that one wall of his bedroom is completely filled with soft, sweet, cuddly teddy bears. There are three shelves in the bedroom, with hundreds and hundreds of cute, cuddly teddy bears, carefully placed in rows covering the entire wall! It was obvious that he had taken quite some time to lovingly arrange them and she was immediately touched by the amount of thought he had put into organising the display. There were small bears all along the bottom shelf, medium-sized bears covering the length of the middle shelf, and huge, enormous bears running all the way along the top shelf. She found it strange for an obviously masculine guy to have such a large a collection of Teddy Bears, but doesn't mention this to him, and actually is quite impressed by his sensitive side. They share a bottle of wine and continue talking and, after a while, she finds herself thinking, "Oh my God! Maybe, this guy could be the one! Maybe he could be the future father my children?" She turns to him and kisses him lightly on the lips. He responds warmly. They continue to kiss, the passion builds, and he romantically lifts her in his arms and carries her into his bedroom where they rip off each other's clothes and make hot, steamy love. She is so overwhelmed that she responds with more passion, more creativity, more heat than she has ever known. After an intense, explosive night of raw passion with this sensitive guy, they are lying there together in the afterglow. The woman rolls over, gently strokes his chest and asks coyly, "Well, how was it?" The guy gently smiles at her, strokes her cheek, looks deeply into her eyes, and says: "Help yourself to any prize from the middle shelf." ---------- Two Irish engineers Patrick and Seamus (Design Engineers) were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking up. A woman walked by and asked what they were doing. "We're supposed to find the height of the flagpole," said Patrick, "but we don't have a ladder." The woman took a wrench from her purse, loosened a few bolts, and laid the pole down. Then she took a tape measure from her pocket, took a measurement, announced, "5 metres" and then walked away. Seamus shook his head and laughed. "Ain't that just like a blonde! We ask for the height and she gives us the length!" poza 1. be amazed
13.10.200631.6KB
poza 3 despre planete - habar nu aveam maslina nr 11 - mewy cwismas!!!poza 3 despre planete - habar nu aveam
24.07.200628KB
poza 2. kodak moment maslina 49 - cam multe!!!poza 2. kodak moment
13.10.200665.1KB
poza 2. nori nervosi maslina nr 43 - too much sport....poza 2. nori nervosi
25.08.200620.7KB

 
noah i iara pline de suspans si ne bagam pilula in ea de i bai ca numa maine nu i poimaine si tre sanoah fratilor vacantza i gata incepem iara activitatile pline de suspans si erotism....adica ne bagam pilula in ea de treaba.... nu i bai ca numa maine nu i poimaine si tre sa merg sa va iau cadouri de craciun.... din pacate vad ca tineretul eroic si stoic al tarii noastre nu se prea ocupa cu cartea si de aia is salile pline la examene....nasoala treaba urat moment cred ca am cam terminat cu blogu ca is obo...studentii is de vina :) -------- Bono is at a U2 concert in Dublin when he asks the audience for some quiet. Then in the silence, he starts to slowly clap his hands. Holding the audience in total silence, he says in to the microphone... "Every time I clap my hands, a child in Africa dies." A voice from near the front pierces the silence... "Well, fucking stop clapping then!!" -------- I urgently needed a few days off work, but I knew the Boss would not allow me to take any leave. I thought that maybe if I acted 'CRAZY' then he would tell me to take a few days off. So I hung upside-down on the ceiling and made funny noises. My co-worker (who's blonde) asked me what I was doing? I told her that I was pretending to be a light bulb so that the Boss might think I was 'CRAZY' and give me a few days off. A few minutes later the Boss came into the office and asked "What are you doing?" I told him I was a light bulb. He said "You are clearly stressed out. Go home and recuperate for a couple of days". I jumped down and walked out of the office. When my co-worker (the blonde) followed me, the Boss asked her "...and where do you think you're going?" She said, "I'm going home too, I can't work in the dark. --------- A young blonde was on vacation and driving through the Everglades wanted to take home a pair of genuine alligator shoes, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking. After becoming very frustrated with the "no haggle on prices" attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, "Well then, maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator, so I can get a pair of shoes for free!" The shopkeeper said with a sly, knowing smile, "Little lady, just go and give it a try!" SoThe blonde headed out toward the swamps, determined to catch an alligator. Later in the day, as the shopkeeper is driving home, he pulls over to the side of the levee where he spots the same young woman standing waist deep in the murky bayou water, shotgun in hand. Just then, he spots a huge 9-foot gator swimming rapidly toward her. With lightning speed, she takes aim, kills the creature and hauls it onto the slimy bank of the swamp. Lying nearby were 7 more of the dead creatures, all lying on their backs. The shopkeeper stood on the bank, watching in silent amazement. The blonde struggled and flipped the gator onto its back. Rolling her eyes heavenward and screaming in great frustration, she shouts out.. "SHIT... THIS ONE'S BAREFOOT, TOO!" -------- filmuletul 1. nascar sau box? filmuletul 2. crazy biker (pe bitză) filmuletul 3. dansatoare la bară --------- The couple was each 85 years old, and had been married for sixty years. Though they were far from rich, they managed to get by because they watched their pennies. Though not young, they were both in very good health, largely due to the wife's insistence on healthy foods and exercise for the last decade. One day, their good health didn't help when they went on a rare vacation and their plane crashed, sending them off to Heaven. They reached the pearly gates, and St. Peter escorted them inside. He took them to a beautiful mansion, furnished in gold and fine silks, with a fully stocked kitchen and a waterfall in the master bath. A maid could be seen hanging their favourite clothes in the closet. They gasped in astonishment when he said, "Welcome to Heaven. This will be your home now." The old man asked St. Peter how much all this was going to cost. "Why, nothing," St. Peter replied, "Remember, this is your reward in Heaven." The old man looked out the window and right there he saw a championship golf course, finer and more beautiful than any ever built on Earth. "What are the greens fees?" grumbled the old man. "This is heaven," St. Peter replied. "You can play free, every day." Next they went to the clubhouse and saw the lavish buffet lunch, with every imaginable cuisine laid out before them, from seafood to steaks to exotic deserts, free-flowing beverages and a fountain of Champagne. "Don't even ask," said St. Peter to the man. "This is Heaven, it is all free for you to enjoy." The old man looked around and glanced nervously at his wife. "Well, where are the low fat and low cholesterol foods, and the decaffeinated tea?" he asked. "That's the best part," St. Peter replied. "You can eat and drink as much as you like of whatever you like, and you will never get fat or sick. This is Heaven!" The old man pushed, "No gym to work out at all?" "Not unless you want to," was the answer. "No testing my sugar or blood pressure or..." "Never again. All you do here is enjoy yourself." The old man glared at his wife and said, "You and your bran muffins! We could have been here twenty years ago!" --------- A man was having problems with premature ejaculation so he decided to go to the doctor. He asked the doctor what he could do to cure his problem. In response, the doctor said, "When you feel like you are getting ready to ejaculate, try startling yourself." That same day the man went to the store and bought himself a starter pistol. All excited to try this suggestion, he ran home to his wife. At home, he found his wife was in bed, naked and waiting. As the two began, they found themselves in the 69 position. The man, moments later, felt the sudden urge to ejaculate and fired the starter pistol. The next day, the man went back to the doctor. The doctor asked, "How did it go?" The man answered, "Not that well...when I fired the pistol, my wife peed in my face, bit 3 inches off my penis and my neighbour came out of the closet with his hands in the air!" poza 1. blow baby...blow
29.09.200624.6KB
poza 10. mafia job aplication maslina 50 oooooo happy days!!!poza 10. mafia job aplication
15.10.200639KB
poza 3. no comment maslina 47 - incepe scoala!!!poza 3. no comment
29.09.200615.9KB
poza 3. haloween for pets maslina 52 muhahaha za vintar iz camin'poza 3. haloween for pets
04.11.200627.6KB

 
poza 2. lovers caught maslina nr. 14 better later than neverpoza 2. Lovers caught
24.07.200643.1KB
poza 2. si mie mi se pare ca maslina ii funny 25 - long long waypoza 2. si mie mi se pare ca maslina ii funny
24.07.200630.7KB
welcome people to the last update of the vroiam sa il fac un fel de best of 2005...am zis sa nu vawelcome people to the last update of the year!!! desi vroiam sa il fac un fel de best of 2005...am zis sa nu va mai plictisesc cu aceleasi dume lipsite de umor. asa ca ma stradui sa vin cu ceva nou. din cate se vede anu ce tocmai trece o fost ok...cu realizari si esecuri...cu un craciun bestial si cu tot felu de intamplari hazlii.... cica ii momentul sa facem bilanturi si alea alea asa ca ma gandesc sa vad ce am realizat si ce nu....hmmm...nuttin much da amu nu le putem face pe toate ultima saptamana din an se termina apoteotic - dupa concertul de luni si vartopul de marti 2 zile numa dorm ca sa imi revin. sa vedem amu cum a fi la nushce party de anu nou ca poate ne schimbam opinia....stiti cum e....ultima impresie conteaza noah bun....enough blog(o fo bine domnu admin?) realizatorul maslinei ureaza tuturor fanilor un An Nou maxim...si sa va dea Dumnezeu tot ce-i mai bun!!! ---- Stii ca esti impatimit de sport daca: 1. siteurile cele mai vizitate sunt prosport.ro si gsp.ro 2. stii de la ce vine gsp 3. il consideri pe ionitoaia mai tare ca sadoveanu 4. cunosti primul 11 de la 6 echipe din tara 5. cunosti primul 11 de la 5 echipe din campionatele straine 6. mergi la un meci pe saptamana(indiferent de sport) 7. stii regulile de la cel putin 7 sporturi (din care unu tre sa fie hochei, baseball sau fotbal american) 8. intr-un vichend urmaresti 8 meciuri de fotbal (Romania, Italia, Spania, Anglia, Germania si ce tari mai vreti voi) 9. spargi un kil de seminte (bostan sau floarea soarelui) intr-un vichend 10. urmaresti 4 jurnale de stiri sportive in fiecare seara (National, TVR1, ProTv si Antena1) 11. Nasu ii naspa, dar Mitica ii amuzant 12. recunosti personajele de la nr 11 --- An attractive young woman was delighted to find her hero Sean Connery alongside her at the bar of a swish hotel and even more delighted when he spoke to her. They chatted for some time and the subject inevitably got round to sex. "I suppose that now you're in your 70s, sex isn't the same," the woman observed regretfully. "On the contrary," Connery said in his famous Scottish accent, "it's even more enjoyable. I can easily have it three times in a row and each one is better than the last, both for me and the woman. Would you like to come up to my room so I can prove it?" There was no way the woman was going to decline an offer from 007, so in no time they were making beautiful love. "That was wonderful, Sean, if I may call you that," the woman gushed. "Will it really be better next time?" "It will," Connery promised her. "But first, I've got to have a half-hour nap and would like you to hold my testicles gently in one hand and my penis in the other while I'm asleep, if you wouldn't mind." "I certainly won't mind," the woman assured him, taking these intriguing parts of 007's anatomy in hand until 30 minutes later to the second Connery woke and resumed lovemaking. "You're right," the woman gasped when they finished. "That was even better. Shall we go again?" "Sure," Connery drawled, "but I need that nap again with you holding my balls and dick." The woman gladly agreed to resume her hold and 30 minutes later released his parts so they could have their third session. After it, she lay back in silent ecstasy before asking, "Sean, tell me, I'll keep it secret if you prefer but does having your partner hold your balls and dick while you sleep make it so much better for you?" "Not at all," Connery assured her. "It's just that the last woman I had in here stole my wallet." filmuletzul 1 un adevarat cu niste monede si un pahar filmuletzul 2 chopper weather filmuletzul 3 chopper air ---- One Sunday morning George burst into the living room and said, "Dad! Mum! I have some great news for you! I am getting married to the most beautiful girl in town. She lives a block away and her name is Susan!" After dinner, George's dad took him aside, "Son, I have to talk with you. Look at your mother, George. She and I have been married 30 years, she's a wonderful wife and mother, but, she has never offered much excitement in the bedroom, so I used to fool around with women a lot. Susan is actually your half sister, and I'm afraid you can't marry her." George was broken-hearted. After eight months he eventually started dating girls again. A year later he came home and very proudly announced, "Diane said yes! We're getting married in June." Again his father insisted on another private conversation and broke the sad news. "Diane is your half sister too, George." "I'm awfully sorry about this." George was livid! He finally decided to go to his mother with the news his father had shared. "Dad has done so much harm. I guess I'm never going to get married," he complained. "Every time I fall in love, Dad tells me the girl is my half sister." "Hee hee," his mother chuckled, shaking her head, "Don't pay any attention to what he says. He's not really your father." ---- Can you imagine working at the following Company? It has a little over 500 employees with the following statistics: 29 have been accused of spousal abuse 7 have been arrested for fraud 19 have been accused of writing bad checks 117 have bankrupted at least two businesses 3 have been arrested for assault 71 cannot get a credit card due to bad credit 14 have been arrested on drug-related charges 8 have been arrested for shoplifting 21 are current defendants in lawsuits In 1998 alone, 84 were stopped for drunk driving Can you guess which organization this is? Give up? It's the 535 members of the United States Congress. The same group that perpetually cranks out hundreds upon hundreds of new laws designed to keep the rest of America in line. ---- There were 3 good arguments that Jesus was Black: 1. He called everyone "brother" 2. He liked Gospel 3. He couldn't get a fair trial But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Jewish: 1. He went into His Fathers business 2. He lived at home until he was 33 3. He was sure his Mother was a virgin and his mother was sure he was God. But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Italian: 1. He talked with his hands 2. He had wine with every meal 3. He used olive oil But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was a Californian: 1. He never cut his hair 2. He walked around barefoot all the time 3. He started a new religion But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Irish: 1. He never got married 2. He was always telling stories 3. He loved green pastures But the most compelling evidence of all - 3 proofs that Jesus was a woman: 1. He had to feed a crowd at a moment's notice when there was no food 2. He kept trying to get a message across to a bunch of men who just didn't get it 3. Even when he was dead, He had to get up because there was more work for Him to do. poza 1. un fotograf adevarat
24.07.200636.4KB
la baschet de la o vreme si ma cam epuizez pare bine ca mai facem si noi o ce urmeaza au loc iarasanatate! merg la baschet de la o vreme si ma cam epuizez psihic....dar oricum....imi pare bine ca mai facem si noi o miscare.... vichendu ce urmeaza au loc iara ceva concerte cu ocazia zilelor orasului....cica duminica vine alphaville....ceea ce numa incanta .... adica noah io eram inainte de gradi cand or inceput astia sa cante asa ca.....voi lipsi....ce i drept pe tvr1 va fi moartea domnului lazarescu de pe la 8....asa ca am motiv sa stau in casa... noah bine...vi o ajuns ca nu am inspiratie... ------------ It was October and the Indians on a remote reservation asked their new chief if the coming winter was going to be cold or mild. Since he was a chief in a modern society he had never been taught the old secrets. When he looked at the sky he couldn't tell what the winter was going to be like. Nevertheless, to be on the safe side he told his tribe that the winter was indeed going to be cold and that the members of the village should collect firewood to be prepared. But being a practical leader, after several days he got an idea. He went to the phone booth, called the National Weather Service and asked, "Is the coming winter going to be cold?" "It looks like this winter is going to be quite cold," the meteorologist at the weather service responded. So the Chief went back to his people and told them to collect even more firewood in order to be prepared. A week later he called the National Weather Service again. "Does It still look like it is going to be a very cold winter?" "Yes," the man at National Weather Service again replied, "it's going to be a very cold winter." The Chief again went back to his people and ordered them to collect every scrap of firewood they could find. Two weeks later the Chief called the National Weather Service again. "Are you absolutely sure that the winter is going to be very cold?" "Absolutely," the man replied. "It's looking more and more like it is going to be one of the coldest winters ever." "How can you be so sure?" the Chief asked. The weatherman replied, "Because the Indians are collecting firewood like crazy!" ---------- The soldiers are tired and lonely after spending weeks in enemy territory. To entertain them the Major called for this HOT number from the nearby town. She came, danced and when the first dance was done, the soldiers went mad. They clapped for 5 minutes. For her second number she stripped and danced in sheer bra and G strings. This time the applause went for 10 minutes. The next number she danced topless, and this time the applause went on and on. The Major had to come on stage and ask them to quiet down for the grand finale. For her last number, she was to strip completely and dance naked. The Major expected the soldiers to make enough noise to bring the roof down. But ten minutes later, there is no clapping and the dancer comes backstage. The Major asks her, "What happened? How come there was no clapping this time?" She replied, "Major, how do you expect those poor boys to clap with one hand?!!?" ----------- TO: All Employees Subject: Special High Intensity Training In order to ensure that we continue to produce the highest quality work possible, it will be our policy to keep all employees well trained through our program of SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING. (S.H.I.T.). We are giving our employees more S.H.I.T. than any other company in the country. If you feel that you do not receive your share of S.H.I.T. on the job, please see your supervisor. You will be placed at the top of the S.H.I.T. list for special attention. All of our supervisors are particularly well qualified to sea that you get all the S.H.l.T. you can handle at your own speed. If you consider yourself to be trained already you may be interested in helping us to train others. We can add your name to our basic understanding lecture list (B.U.L.L. S.H.I.T.) If you have further questions, please address them to our HEAD OF Training (H.O.T. S.H.I.T.) Program. ---------- filmuletul 1. do not try this at home... filmuletul 2. cel mai destept papagal ---------- A Woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods. She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap. The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you three wishes." The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, "Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes. Whatever you wish for, your husband will get times ten!" The woman said, "That's okay." For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world. The frog warned her, "You do realise that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis whom women will flock to". The woman replied, "That's okay, because I will be the most beautiful woman and he will have eyes only for me." So, KAZAM-she's the most beautiful woman in the world! For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world. The frog said, "That will make your husband the richest man in the world and he will be ten times richer than you. "The woman said, "That's okay, because what's mine is his and what's his Is mine." So, KAZAM-she's the richest woman in the world! The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, "I'd like a mild heart attack." Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don't mess with them. Attention female readers: This is the end of the joke for you. Stop here And continue feeling good. Male readers ONLY: The man had a heart attack ten times milder than his wife!!! Moral of the story: Women are dumb but think they're really smart. Let them continue to think that way and just enjoy the show PS: If you are a woman and are still reading this; it only goes to show you never listen! ----- A fellow bought a new Mercedes and was out on the interstate for a nice evening drive. The top was down, the breeze was blowing through what was left of his hair and he decided to open her up. As the needle jumped up to 80 mph, he suddenly saw flashing red and blue lights behind him. "There's no way they can catch a Mercedes," he thought to himself and opened her up further. The needle hit 90... 100... Then the reality of the situation hit him. "What am I doing?" he thought and pulled over. The cop came up to him, took his license without a word and examined it and the car. "It's been a long day, this is the end of my shift and it's Friday the 13th. I don't feel like more paperwork, so if you can give me an excuse for your driving that I haven't heard before, you can go." The guy thinks for a second and says, "Last week my wife ran off with a cop. I was afraid you were trying to give her back!" "Have a nice weekend," said the officer. ------ On a group of beautiful deserted islands in the middle of nowhere, the following people are suddenly stranded by, as you might expect, a shipwreck: 2 Italian men and 1 Italian woman 2 French men and 1 French woman 2 German men and 1 German woman 2 Greek men and 1 Greek woman 2 English men and 1 English woman 2 Bulgarian men and 1 Bulgarian woman 2 Japanese men and 1 Japanese woman 2 Chinese men and 1 Chinese woman 2 American men and 1 American woman 2 Irish men and 1 Irish woman One month later on these same absolutely stunning deserted islands in the middle of nowhere, the following things have occurred: - One Italian man killed the other Italian man for the Italian woman. - The two French men and the French woman are living happily together in a menage-a-trois. - The two German men have a strict weekly schedule of alternating visits with the German woman. - The two Greek men are sleeping with each other and the Greek woman is cleaning and cooking for them. - The two English men are waiting for someone to introduce them to the English woman. - The two Bulgarian men took one long look at the endless ocean, and another long look at the Bulgarian woman, and started swimming. - The two Japanese men have faxed Tokyo and are awaiting instructions. - The two Chinese men have set up a pharmacy, a liquor store, a restaurant and a laundry, and have got the woman pregnant in order to supply employees for their stores. - The two American men are contemplating the virtues of suicide because the American woman keeps endlessly complaining about her body; the true nature of feminism; how she can do everything they can do; the necessity of fulfilment; the equal division of household chores; how sand and palm trees make her look fat; how her last boyfriend respected her opinion and treated her nicer than they do; how her relationship with her mother is improving and how at least the taxes are low and it isn't raining. - The two Irish men have divided the island into North and South and set up a distillery. They do not remember if sex is in the picture because it gets sort of foggy after the first few litres of coconut whisky. But they're satisfied because at least the English aren't having any fun. poza 1. clever dog
06.10.200632.3KB

 
poza 3. o venit iarna maslina 44 vine toamna?poza 3. o venit iarna
01.09.200629.3KB
poza 2 hairy car maslina 48 - is obosit rau de totpoza 2 hairy car
06.10.200660.4KB
poza 4 is darnic nu? inca una din dubai (promit sa nu fie ultima) maslina nr 7 - tired so so tiredpoza 4 is darnic nu? inca una din dubai (promit sa nu fie ultima)
24.07.200649.3KB
saptamana super sau nu? nu o sa mai vb de sesiune ca numa ma isterizez din nou...si stiu ca o sa inhalo....people o saptamana super sau nu? nu o sa mai vb de sesiune ca numa ma isterizez din nou...si stiu ca o sa treaca...eventualy noah in rest toate-s roz....mai putin problema legata de faptul ca VA TREBUI SA MERG LA SUPRAVEGHEAT LA EXEMENE IN TOATE VICHENDURILE....dar am zis ca i am not going down that road....i'm in a happy place....oricum o trecut :(:(:( nah gut.... fasten your seat belts....ca incepem... ----------- A 5-year old boy went to visit his grandmother one day. While playing with his toys in her bedroom while grandma was dusting furniture, he looked up and said, "Grandma, how come you don't have a boyfriend?" Grandma replied, "Honey, my TV is my boyfriend. I can set in my bedroom and watch it all day long. The TV evangelists keep me company and make me feel so good. The comedies make me laugh. I'm so happy with my TV as my boyfriend." Grandma turned on the TV and the picture was horrible. She started adjusting the knobs trying to get the picture in focus. Frustrated, she started hitting on the backside of the TV hoping to fix the problem. The little boy heard the doorbell ring so he hurried to open the door. When he opened the door, there stood Grandma's minister. The minister said, "Hello son is your grandma home?" The little boy replied, "Yeah, she's in the bedroom bangin' her boyfriend." ---- A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night and have dinner with her parents. Since this is such a big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go out and make love for the first time. Well, the boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some condoms. The pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. He tells the boy everything there is to know about condoms and sex. At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms he'd like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family pack. The boy insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be rather busy, it being his first time and all. That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parent’s house and meets his girlfriend at the door. "Oh, I'm so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in!" The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the girl's parents are seated. The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head. A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer, with his head down. 10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy. Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend leans over and whispers to the boyfriend, "I had no idea you were this religious." The boy turns, and whispers back, "I had no idea your father was a pharmacist." filmuletzul 1 pescuit bestial filmuletzul 2 raliu din nou...ca sa ma roada pe mine pizma filmuletzul 3 Bush despre global warming An officer in the U.S. Naval Reserve was attending a conference that included admirals from both the U.S. Navy and the French Navy. At a cocktail reception, he found himself in a small group that included personnel from both navies. The French Admiral started complaining that whereas Europeans learned many languages, Americans learned only English. He then asked, "Why is it that we have to speak English in these conferences rather than you speak French?" Without hesitating, the American Admiral replied: "Maybe it is because the Brits, Canadians, Aussies, and Americans arranged it so you would not have to speak German." The group became silent. ---- There was an engineer, manager, and a programmer driving down a steep mountain road. The brakes failed and the car careened down the road out of control. Half way down the driver managed to stop the car by running it against the embankment narrowly avoiding careening off the cliff. They all got out, shaken by their narrow escape from death, but otherwise unharmed. The manager said, "To fix this problem we need to organize a committee, have meetings, and through process of continuous improvement, develop a solution." The engineer said, "No that would take too long, besides that method never worked before. I have my trusty pen knife here and will take apart the brake system, isolate the problem and correct it." The programmer said, "I think your both wrong! I think we should all push the car back up the hill and see if it happens again." -------- unul din bancurile mele preferate....nu sunt deloc xenofob sau sovin....tre sa radeti da? Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Heaven, God went missing for six days. Eventually, Michael the archangel found him, resting on the seventh day. He inquired of God, "Where have you been?" God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds. "Look Michael, look what I've made." Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, "What is it?" "It's a planet," replied God, "and I've put LIFE on it. I'm going to call it Earth, and it's going to be a place of great balance." "Balance?" inquired Michael, still confused. God explained, pointing to different parts of Earth. "For example, Northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth while Southern Europe is going to be poor. The Middle East over there will be a hot spot. Over there I've placed a continent of white people and over there is a continent of black people," God continued, pointing to different countries. "And over there, I call this place America. North America will be rich and powerful and cold, while South America will be poor and hot and friendly. And the little spot in the middle is Central America, which is a hot spot. Can you see the balance?" "Yes," said the Archangel, impressed by Gods work. Then he pointed to a large land mass and asked, "What's that one?" "Ah," said God. "That's Romania, the most glorious place on Earth. There are beautiful mountains, forests, rivers, streams and an exquisite coastline. The people are good looking, intelligent and humorous, and they're going to be found travelling the world. They'll be extremely sociable, hard working and high achieving, and they will be known throughout the world as diplomats and carriers of peace. I'm also going to give them super-human, undefeatable football, rugby, tennis and handball players who will be admired and feared by all who come across them". Michael gasped in wonder and admiration, but then exclaimed "But you said there would be BALANCE!" God replied wisely, "Wait until you see the ugly, whingeing, sheep-raping Moldavian bastards I'm putting next to them." poza 1. all scream for icecream
24.07.200626.6KB
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